The Recovery Room
by sunburntdaisy
Summary: completed - all three parts of the epilogue... plenty cordano mush but some serious stuff as well. Starts in the recovery room. Ends on the honeymoon. Hey! That rhymes...
1. Recovery Room 1

Here you go - re-formatted - now that i figured out how to do it. And it's spread out over 4 chapters so it looks like more... actually i have added to it quite a bit... but don't worry there's more coming.  
  
Ta for all the awesome review - very encouraging!  
  
Disclaimer (suppose this is the norm so there's nothing quite like conformity): go for it, sue me, good luck with that, cuz if you manage to find out who i am and where i live then you'll have spent more money than i have... being a student is great :)  
  
"Hey, they got the right arm," Robert quipped as Lizzie entered his room in recovery.  
  
She just smiled, "How you feeling?"  
  
"What do you expect?"  
  
"Honestly? Flying bed pan aimed here," she tapped the middle of her forehead.  
  
"What would I throw it with?" he asked as she sat down on a chair beside his bed.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Na, you're not far off - I almost threw my pillow at the nurse but I figured I probably wouldn't get it back." He smiled at her - trying to keep up the brave face, and she could tell.  
  
"I don't imagine you're the greatest patient she ever had either."  
  
"Oh, you'd know" he said sarcastically, immediately sorry. He met her eyes dreading her response,  
  
"I was there."  
  
"You were?"  
  
"Yeah, you'd just got to sleep when I arrived."  
  
"I thought the ER would have you busy all day."  
  
"They wanted to, but I was with you right through until you started waking up."  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
"Good."  
  
"That bad, huh?" Then his tone changed, "Thank you." She just looked at him, "You're a good surgeon Lizzie."  
  
"I know." She smiled, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"You sound almost as arrogant as me."  
  
"No, if I were you I'd say I were the best."  
  
"Was." He corrected her.   
  
After a few moments of silence Lizzie continued, "After your operation I went down to the gift shop for a decent cup of coffee and I was flicking through this book and it said 'who you are is more important than what you do,'"  
  
"What else have I got?"  
  
"Only you can answer that Robert." Elizabeth broke his intense eye contact, looking at his exposed shoulder then at her knees.  
  
"What if I can't?" he asked dejectedly.  
  
Lizzie stood up and looked at him, "There's more to you than this." She sat on the side of his bed.  
  
"I wish I had as much faith as you appear to."  
  
"I wish you did too." She squeezed his hand and was going to pull away but he held on.  
  
"Maybe it'll rub off." He paused, lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, "thank you."  
  
Lizzie stood up as he let go of her hand, "I'll come and see you at the end of my shift," she promised as she turned to leave.  
  
***  
  
Robert had had his bed turned around and was looking out the window at the city lights and stars when Lizzie entered, "Hi." She said casually.  
  
"Long shift?" He looked over to her, his breath catching in his throat. She nodded in reply and walked toward him. "I think busy is better than bored." He said, "Boredom makes you think too much."  
  
Elizabeth sat on the side of his bed, "And what do you think about?" Lizzie asked.  
  
"I was thinking that I've been a jerk to you as much as anyone else but you're still here - even though your shift ended hours ago and all you probably want to do is go home to your daughter."  
  
"Ella will already be asleep, but other than that you're about right."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know. I was thinking the very same thing when I was walking here."  
  
"And you didn't turn around?"  
  
Elizabeth smiled and shook her head.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You've said that more in the last 2 days than in as long as I've known you." Elizabeth looked at him quizzically.  
  
"Don't get too used to it - the meds will wear off in a day or two."  
  
"I could slip more into your tea." Elizabeth teased  
  
"I might get soft on you." Robert looked out at the city lights.  
  
"Kerry wouldn't know how to react."  
  
"None of them would."  
  
"I would." She replied. After a few breaths of silence, she followed Robert's gaze out the window, "Million dollar view, huh?"  
  
"I hate hospitals." Robert looked back to her.  
  
"Robert, you've worked in them for years."  
  
"Yeah, but being the patient is different."  
  
Elizabeth sort of nodded, "I know."  
  
"No you don't - you had Mark and now you have Ella" he paused and looked back out the window, "my house keeper visited me."  
  
"You have been thinking too much."  
  
"Yah, well the nurses weren't keeping up their end of the conversation." He quipped half-heartedly.  
  
"I'm visiting you." She reached out and took his hand.  
  
Robert lay back on the pillows, looking at the ceiling and blinking back tears. Elizabeth squeezed his hand.  
  
"I don't think I'd still be here if it weren't for you." He choked out.  
  
"The other surgeon wasn't that bad."  
  
"That's not what I mean."  
  
"I know," she squeezed his hand.  
  
"You should go." He choked back the tears. Elizabeth just looked at him. He swallowed and she could see wet trails on his cheeks.  
  
"Lizzie. Go." He demanded through tears.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere." She pulled him to her and hugged him.  
  
"What about Ella?" he resisted but not for long.  
  
"I have a very understanding Nanny."  
  
"Lizzie, you need to sleep." He let his head rest on her shoulder and put his arm around her waist.  
  
"Hey, you're the patient."  
  
"Ironic name, isn't it?" Robert smiled through the tears that he was still trying to blink back. She smiled and rubbed his back, trying to comfort him.  
  
"You don't have to stay, I'll be fine." Robert said, still holding onto her. She kept rubbing his back ignoring what he'd said. "Or you could stay." She slowed down rubbing his back and just held him. "Thank you Lizzie." He whispered, tears choking his voice. He didn't want to cry in front of her but he knew that if she left he'd cry on his own and that would be worse. It didn't look like she was leaving and no matter how many times he swallowed, his throat was just getting sorer and the tears kept coming. He sobbed. The sound brought tears to Elizabeth's eyes. She held him tighter as he continued to cry, his head burrowed into her shoulder. Robert couldn't believe Elizabeth was still there - sitting with him - holding him - while he cried. It was completely beyond him whey she ever even gave him the time of day - the most he'd ever done for her was order her a pizza when she was pregnant. The rest of the time he bombarded her with sarcasm and critical innuendo. He didn't deserve her and yet here she was. Had it been anyone else he would have forced them to leave but he didn't want her to leave - ever. Meanwhile, Elizabeth couldn't believe he was crying - although she'd seen it coming - almost every time she'd spoken to him in the past few weeks she could tell he was close to the edge and every time she'd had to swallow back her own tears. Why was she so affected? What did he have to let her see his struggle and hide it from everyone else? She had a bad feeling she was the only one who cared and she desperately wanted to give him an easy solution but there wasn't one.  
  
"I wish I could do something, Robert," she whispered as he calmed.  
  
"You do Lizzie." He pulled away from her embrace and taking her hand, he looked at it. She put her other hand under his chin and forced him to look at her.  
  
"You'll get past this." She whispered, searching his eyes for any glimmer of hope. None was forthcoming but he held her eyes intensely and swallowed. He looked at her lips, and then quickly looked anywhere else.  
  
"Sorry, Lizzie, momentary weakness - I promised it wouldn't happen again."  
  
"That was me." She pulled her eyes away from him.  
  
"I don't want your pity Lizzie."  
  
"Robert, I treat patients I pity every day, but I don't visit them in the middle of the night when I'm rostered off. I admire you, you won't give up, and you're an amazing doctor. You're more than a colleague, you're a friend - and I care that you're here - alone. And I wish there was something I could do, but there isn't, so I'm just going to be here - in case there is."  
  
"I don't deserve that."  
  
"What you don't deserve is this," she touched his bare shoulder. He flinched and she looked concerned, "does that hurt?"  
  
"No, your hands just cold. It only aches like normal."  
  
"How bad?"  
  
"Eight. Sometimes Nine."  
  
Lizzie looked at him, desperate to help him, "are you cold?"  
  
"A little." He admitted, surprised at his own honesty - although the tough guy image had gone out the window long ago - admitting he needed her help was a big step. Elizabeth got up and went to get a blanket from the warmer. Robert lay there, looking at the city lights. He anticipated her return - half warning himself not to hope on her too much. What if she really didn't just pity him? Did he have a chance? Could she really look at this one-armed gargoyle like that? She had, just minutes before but he'd looked away. It was too much to risk too soon. It wasn't that long ago since Mark died, not even a year. They'd been fighting but he had a feeling that only made his passing more difficult for Lizzie. Was she ready yet for any kind of lasting relationship? He knew he didn't just want a fling with her. He'd loved her for years and he knew that he wouldn't get over her if she left him. But at the same time he so desperately wanted to be with her. He needed her - not only because of his not-so-recent collision with the wrong end of a helicopter but because she gave a damn - even before that. His reverie was broken by its subject. She wrapped the warm blanket around his neck and shoulder and its warmth relaxed his muscles.  
  
"Better?"  
  
He nodded, half smiling at her. She wanted so much to comfort him. She suddenly wanted to tell him she loved him. Was this just pity? He was so miserable and alone - he needed someone but did she really want to be that person - or was she just concerned, as a friend, and wanted him to have someone with him because she knew he shouldn't be alone.  
  
"Lizzie," he intruded into her thoughts, "what time do you start tomorrow?"  
  
"Um, nine," she tried to stifle a yawn  
  
"Why don't you go up to my office and get some rest? You can sleep on the couch or watch TV or whatever."  
  
"That might be a good idea." She smiled at him  
  
"My keys are in that bag," he pointed to the floor beside his bed.  
  
Elizabeth found them and stood up, keys in one hand, she took Robert's hand in the other and squeezed it - "See? You're still a good doctor."  
  
"Well, they didn't amputate my brain - brain on a stick perhaps, but I still got a brain. Sounds like a line from the wizard of oz." He smiled wryly.  
  
"Well, you've still got your mouth."  
  
"Yeah, I can throw some of my famous biting sarcasm at the nurses - but I'll be ready to go home by lunch time tomorrow - sparring with you was always more fun."  
  
"That's cause I know you won't fire me so I fight back." She squeezed his hand, "plus, I know that there's more to you than sarcasm."  
  
"Yeah, a crying little boy."  
  
"No Robert. I've seen you show compassion - to patients"  
  
"That's my job, Lizzie." He interrupted.  
  
"-And to me." She continued.  
  
"Lizzie, you should go and get some sleep."  
  
She nodded and stood up again. Slowly, she lifted his hand and pressed her lips to his knuckles.  
  
"Goodnight Lizzie." He said, resisting the temptation to caress her face.  
  
She nodded and walked out of the room leaving it colder and emptier. But less confusing. She had no idea how she affected him. He smiled thinking of how she'd touched him - dare he hope? No, he'd wait and see. Right now wasn't the best time - he needed her at the moment and he couldn't risk that - not until he was sure. If ever. 


	2. Recovery Room 2

Chapter 2...  
  
disclaimer: see chapter 1  
  
***  
  
Elizabeth let herself into Robert's office and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She took a blanket off the end of the couch and shook it out, then lay down and tucked it around her. It felt so good to lie down and her eyes were so heavy. She set the alarm on her watch and fell asleep almost immediately. Hours later felt like seconds and the alarm went up long before she'd had enough sleep. She sat up and stretched her back. Swinging her legs off the couch, she stood up. She had an hour until she was expected to start work - just enough time for a shower and a bagel from the cafeteria. In a fresh set of scrubs from her locker she got her bagel and went to her office. The paper work on her desk would keep her busy from at least an hour then she had surgery, a meeting, and two more surgeries. Nine hours later she collapsed on the chair in her office. The message light was flashing on her phone so she pressed the button and leaned back on her chair closing her eyes.  
  
"Hello, Elizabeth, Chris here. My sister is sick and needs me to look after her kids and I didn't want Ella to get it so I left her at the crèche. I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't get hold of you. I should still be able to look after her tomorrow though - give me a call this evening and I'll confirm. Sorry about this. Oh - and the crèche closes at 8 so I hope you get this before then. Sorry, bye." Beep.  
  
Elizabeth pressed 3 to delete before the pre-recorded voice could start.  
  
"Hey Lizzie. Robert here. I just wanted to say thanks. And, um, I don't suppose you could grab some stuff from my office for me - there's a couple of manila folders on my desk - just bring all of them, and my CD player, and a couple of CDs, your choice. Just if you can - don't go out of your way. Hope your days been okay. I'll see you later I guess." Beep.  
  
This time she pressed 2 to save and left her office before the pre-recorded voice gave her any more options. She changed into a navy blue skirt and a white blouse, threw her scrubs back in her office, grabbed her bag and took the elevator down to the second floor where the crèche was located. Ella and one other child were there. Ella ran to her mother as soon as she made eye contact. Elizabeth picked her up, "you tired sweetie?"  
  
"No." Ella said and then yawned. Elizabeth smiled.  
  
"I don't believe you but I'll just pretend." Elizabeth said as she signed Ella out and walked back to the elevator, Ella on her hip. As the door opened Ella struggled so Elizabeth put her down and let the toddler walk into the elevator. She swung on the handrail as her mother pressed the button.  
  
"We're just going to get something then we're going to visit a friend of Mommy's" Elizabeth explained, talking Ella's hand. Ten minutes later the pair walked hand-in-hand into the Robert's room. Ella was carrying Elizabeth's bag and Elizabeth had Robert's stereo, several files and several CDs under one arm and Ella's hand in her other hand.  
  
Robert's face lit up when he saw them. "Oh, thank you. I wasn't expecting them until tomorrow, but thank you."  
  
Elizabeth put his stuff on his bedside table and picked up her daughter, "That's okay - Ella, this is Robert."  
  
"Hello Ella." Robert smiled at Ella who giggled back at him.  
  
"Say hello, Ella." Elizabeth prompted.  
  
"Hellow Wobut." Ella said slowly. "You sick?"  
  
Robert nodded, "but I'll be better soon, or at least I'm hoping that is what your mother will tell me."  
  
Elizabeth smiled, sitting Ella on the end of Robert's bed. "The nurses haven't kicked you out yet?" She sat beside him.  
  
"Not quite." He smiled, "How was your day?"  
  
Elizabeth took a deep breath and nodded, "busy."  
  
"You didn't fall asleep during surgery?"  
  
"Almost. The highlight was a surprise meeting with Kerry."  
  
"Glad it was you not me." Robert gave her a wry smile. "Lizzie, you don't have to stay - You're exhausted."  
  
"What gave me away?" she asked yawning.  
  
Ella crawled up and sat herself on Robert's lap. Elizabeth just watched and smiled. Robert held Ella with his right arm, "Will you take your mom home and make sure she goes to sleep early?"   
  
Ella nodded and looked at Elizabeth who yawned again, "Why is mommy tired?"  
  
"Cause she was looking after me when she should have been sleeping."  
  
"Does she need to look after you now?" Ella asked  
  
Robert shook his head after a slightly-too-long pause. Ella crawled back into Elizabeth's lap.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked him.  
  
He nodded, half-smiling, "better."  
  
"Really?" she searched his face for the truth.  
  
"Seven" he told her [scale of 1 to 10 for pain]  
  
Again Elizabeth desperately wished she could do something. "I don't start till two tomorrow so I could bring you some decent lunch and stay for longer - we should really be going." She stood up and put her bag over her shoulder.  
  
Robert nodded, "thanks for bringing that stuff from my office."  
  
"No problem," she searched his face.  
  
"I'll be fine Lizzie." He squeezed her hand.  
  
"Nights are the worst," she offered  
  
He nodded, "but I'll try to sleep - we can't all function on the tiny amount of sleep as you do."  
  
Elizabeth yawned, "Define 'function'."   
  
He smiled. He wanted to say 'look that beautiful and be that generous' but what he said was "Lunch sounds good."  
  
"Okay," she picked up her bag and squeezed his hand; "I'll see you then."  
  
"Sleep well, Lizzie."  
  
"You too Robert." She picked up Ella.  
  
"Bye Ella." Robert waved. Elizabeth smiled as Ella leaned back,  
  
"Bye Wobut."  
  
Robert smiled at the toddler, then at her mother, who waved and smiled back. He looked much happier than last night, Elizabeth thought as she walked away.  
  
"Wobut is sick." Ella said.  
  
"I know." Elizabeth replied  
  
"Did you look after him?"  
  
Elizabeth nodded.  
  
"Why isn't he better yet?"  
  
"Because it takes a little while for his body to heal - just like when you have a graze on your knee - it takes a few days to get better." Elizabeth tried to explain.  
  
"Did Wobut fall over?" Ella looked shocked.  
  
"No," Elizabeth considered if she should explain it to Ella. She'd taken to Robert so well and she seemed to make him brighten up too. So if she were going to bring Ella up to see him again she'd have to explain it at some point - and better if not in front of Robert. "He had a big deep cut on his arm," she understated, "and it got bad bugs in it and they were making him sick."  
  
"So are you making the bugs go away?"  
  
"Yes, but the doctor had to cut off his arm because it wasn't getting better."  
  
"Ow." Ella looked a little scarred. "Will Wobut be okay?"  
  
Elizabeth nodded and said under her breath, "I hope so."  
  
***  
  
Elizabeth walked into Robert's room. He looked like he was asleep, until he said in a rather abrasive tone, "I said I'm not hungry."  
  
"Well, in that case I'll give your half to Kerry." Elizabeth teased.   
  
Robert opened his eyes, "Oh, Lizzie, I thought you were the lunch lady. Don't tell her, or her friend - the sloppy-and-disgusting-dripping-with-fat-burger, but I'm actually famished."  
  
"Good," she sat down beside him and pulled a bottle of orange juice a pottle of ice cream and a chicken, cranberry and brie panini out of her bag and put them on the table beside his bed. His eyes widened, making Lizzie smile, "You seem much better."  
  
"If I'm not I will be soon. Where's yours?"  
  
Lizzie pulled another panini out of her bag.  
  
"I'm impressed. If you weren't such a great surgeon I'd suggest you sign up in the kitchen." He took a bite of his panini.  
  
Lizzie laughed, "good to know I have career options. So, when was this last changed?" she nodded at his shoulder, taking a bite of her own panini.  
  
"Yesterday evening, just before you got here."  
  
"Would you mind if I did it this evening?"  
  
"Not at all, but you must have enough to keep you busy - don't you have med students this week?"  
  
"No, they arrive next Tuesday. And I have a gap from 4 till 6 so, assuming I don't get called down to the ER, I'll come and do it then. What did they say yesterday?"  
  
"Not much. Lots of irritating condescension, but at least no sign of infection."  
  
Elizabeth nodded and smiled, "You seem much more positive."  
  
"The nurse put on a Tony Robins tape." He said sarcastically, "Na, I got some work done this morning so I'm not feeling quite so useless, and the nights are the worst."  
  
"Yeah, in know what you mean." Elizabeth nodded, pouring the orange juice into two glasses.  
  
"What do you mean?" He looked at her with friendly concern.  
  
"Oh, um, just that when Mark died, it was always worse at night." She swallowed, a little uncomfortable sharing that with Robert, but feeling she needed to open up a bit considering he had.  
  
"Oh." Robert wasn't sure how to respond  
  
"Don't look so worried, Robert. I'm okay. I just can't believe it's been almost a year."  
  
He smiled. "Hope you heal better than me."  
  
"I did. I don't miss him much anymore, but I wish Ella could remember him. I have lots of photos for her - I put them away at first because they made it harder on me, but I got them out again a couple of months back - after I lost my ring, and you found it again." This opening-up-thing got easier as she went, thought Elizabeth.  
  
Robert smiled, "right, the laparoscopic camera and snare trick."  
  
"That's the one. You want your ice cream?"  
  
"Sure. Do you want to put on a CD? - Good selection by the way."  
  
Elizabeth passed him the ice cream and looked at the CDs she'd picked, "Tracy Chapman?"  
  
Robert nodded with the plastic spoon in his mouth.  
  
"Good look." Elizabeth laughed and pressed play. The promise started playing:  
  
If you…wait for me  
  
Then I'll… come for you  
  
Although I've travelled far…  
  
I'll always hold… a place  
  
For you in my heart  
  
"Good song." The both said at once. Robert took another spoonful of ice cream and told himself not to get his hopes up - but it was too late.  
  
"You okay Robert?"  
  
He looked up at her, "Um, yeah, sorry."  
  
"Did you sleep well last night?"  
  
"Eventually." He nodded, knowing the reason he'd not slept sooner was because he couldn't get her out of his mind, and he didn't really want to. "You?"  
  
"Like a log." She smiled, "Don't you love going back to your own bed after you've spent a night somewhere else?"  
  
He nodded, "Yeah, I'm certainly looking forward to mine."  
  
"Did they say anything about how long it is till you can go home?"  
  
"A few days to a week, but I won't be back here for at least another two weeks."  
  
"You've got to be glad about that."  
  
"Not really, I'll be bored out of my mind."  
  
"Well in that case I'll drop all my paperwork in your mail box each evening and pick it up on my way in to the hospital a couple of days later."  
  
"Only if you'll come in for a meal while you're at it - keep me company." He said sincerely, hoping she would consider it.  
  
"I'll come for a visit but I was kidding, I'm not going to give you my paper work, as tempting as that is. You'll need your rest." She smiled at him, surprised that she was looking forward to visiting him.  
  
"Okay, well I wasn't particularly anticipating the paperwork, but what do you propose I should do for ten days? What do you do on your days off?"  
  
"Play with Ella, sleep - honestly I'm not home long enough to get bored."  
  
"Well, I'm sure I'll be sleeping some of the time but I don't suppose Ella would like to visit?" He suggested, again stepping out on a limb, hoping she'd consider it.  
  
"Ella would be ecstatic - she talked about you all the way home - at least until she fell asleep."  
  
"Yeah, I have that effect on women."  
  
Elizabeth laughed then changed her tone, "are you serious? I mean could you take Ella for a bit?"  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
"I wouldn't usually ask, but Chris, my nanny, has to look after her sister's kids this week cause her sister is sick - she's still looking after Ella but at their house and I don't want Ella to catch anything."  
  
"Well I'd love to take her - maybe you can get me out of this place a day or two earlier and then we'll call it even?" Robert grinned at the prospect - he could be going home soon, seeing Elizabeth almost everyday and babysitting her daughter.  
  
"I'll try - I can change the dressing just as easily at your place as here, that should swing them around."  
  
"It's a deal," Robert smiled. He was hoping for her again - something he promised he wouldn't do unless she made the first move - but she wasn't running away like she had before and he couldn't help but want to be near her - dangerous maybe, but what if she could like him? There was always the chance, no matter how small, that she felt something. So he hung onto that little bit of chance and desperately tried to ignore all his doubts.  
  
Elizabeth could hardly believe what was happening - she was going to leave her daughter with him - this was way beyond patient/doctor relationship. What surprised her most was that she didn't doubt the Ella would be fine with him - solo arm, quick mouth and all. And she'd probably be good for him - he'd have to stop thinking about himself and his shortcomings, if you could call them that. Yeah, it was a brilliant idea - Ella would get to know him too - she didn't know why that was important, but it was.  
  
Elizabeth was brought back to earth by her wristwatch alarm. It was quarter to two.  
  
"I have to go." She said reluctantly, turning off the alarm.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Oh, no it wasn't my pager - I'm on in fifteen minutes though." She stood up.  
  
"Oh. What am I missing?"  
  
"Um, a gallbladder I think."  
  
"Well you'd better find out for sure Lizzie." He teased. "Thanks for lunch, highlight of my day."  
  
"Mine too." She smiled at him and he caught his breath in his throat - she was so beautiful. "I'll be back in a couple of hours to fix up your dressing. Why don't you try and get some sleep?"  
  
Robert yawned, "How'd you guess?"  
  
"You're not the only one who has that effect on the opposite sex." She laughed as she walked out. He watched her walk away and closed his eyes smiling. The afternoon sun warmed his feet as he sunk into the pillows and slept. 


	3. Recovery Room 3 at least i don't give an...

And Chapter 3... i should have given these more interesting titles  
  
disclaimer: sigh - you've heard them all before, just press rewind and play in your mine  
  
***  
  
Robert stood at the door of his home, holding Ella in his arm. Elizabeth had just pulled up the drive.  
  
"Hey." She yelled as she got out of the car.  
  
"Hi." He replied walking down the steps to meet her.  
  
"Hi mommy." Ella reached out to her mother.   
  
"Hey Baby." Elizabeth took Ella with one arm and kissed her then hugged Robert with her free arm and kissed him too - only it lasted a little longer - until Ella giggled. Robert took her hand and led her inside.  
  
"Did she sleep this afternoon?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
Robert nodded, "We both did. And then Ella made dinner - with Gretel's help.  
  
"Oh gosh,"  
  
"It's okay, I made us something else - even Gretel wouldn't eat Ella's meal."  
  
"Did she?"  
  
"Almost, I took it instead, didn't I Ella?"  
  
"Wobut ate my dinner." She giggled.  
  
Elizabeth looked at him quizzically, as if to say 'really?'  
  
Robert shook his head, subtly, holding Elizabeth's eye contact.  
  
"So what did you have for dinner Ella?"  
  
"I gave her a bit of ours."  
  
"Sloppy Joe" Ella grinned, the proof still decorating her mouth.  
  
"We're having sloppy Joes?" Elizabeth asked   
  
"No, we're having spaghetti - I just put some of the meat sauce in a roll for Ella - I've seen her with spaghetti - that should be illegal - it probably is in Kentucky or something."  
  
Elizabeth laughed and kissed him again, "I'll just get Ella cleaned up. I'll be right back." She walked down to Ella's room and disappeared through the doorway. Robert smiled and walked into the kitchen, flicking the element back on to heat up their dinner. His legs were really warm - he looked down. He was in bed. In the hospital. He could see out over the city and the sun was shining in over his bed. Then he remembered where he was - he couldn't ignore the disappointment. He closed his eyes again, trying to recapture the dream. He dozed off again but he his dream didn't return.  
  
Elizabeth approached his bed quietly, trying to tell if he was sleeping or not. He looked so peaceful - he even had the hint of a smile on his lips. Okay, stop looking at his lips, she told herself and sat down on the chair beside his bed, content to watch him sleep. He turned to face her and his eyes blinked open,  
  
"Lizzie?"  
  
"Hey." She smiled at him. He sat up a bit; unsure if he was still dreaming, half hoping he was, cause then he could kiss her. "How you feeling?" she asked.  
  
He nodded, eyes droopy, "better. It's nice - sleeping in the sun, I mean."  
  
"I'm jealous." She smiled, helping him to sit up a bit. "Do you mind?" she pulled up the bandage a bit.  
  
"No, go for it." He woke up a bit and watched her face as she carefully removed the dressing.  
  
"Are you sure you want to see it?" she looked at him, holding the dressing in place.  
  
He nodded but he didn't look too sure. He could see her doubt in her face, "Just do it Lizzie." She nodded and lifted off the dressing, turning away to put it in a bag. She turned back. He was looking at the stump, jaw clenched. She cleaned the wound carefully.  
  
"How bad?" she asked  
  
His jaw was firmly clenched, "nine." He forced out and blinked repeatedly. She tried to ignore the pain in his eyes and focus on the task at hand. She gently put a fresh dressing on, taped it on and focused on taking the old dressing away. She walked out of his room and leaned against the door, blinking back the tears.  
  
"Dr Corday, is everything okay?" one of the nurses asked.  
  
"Yeah." She nodded too much, "I'm just getting a blanket from the warmer." She got the blanket and returned to Robert's room avoiding the looks on the nurse's faces.  
  
"Lizzie." He said as she wrapped it around his arm, "You don't have to do that again if you don't want to."  
  
"I thought it would be easier than that." She sat down on the chair beside his bed, refusing to hold eye contact.  
  
"Lizzie," he took her hand, "this isn't your battle."  
  
"I just wish I could do something."  
  
"You have." He nodded "And it's not that bad."  
  
"Robert, don't lie to me." She shook her head and finally met his eyes. She almost felt guilty.  
  
"You know what I miss the most?" he changed the subject abruptly.  
  
Her brow wrinkled, "surgery?"  
  
"No." he shook his head, "You forget, I have a life outside of this hospital. But cooking is a whole lot more difficult, all that time I spent learning to tie my shoelaces when I was four years old, was totally wasted, and playing the guitar is impossible." He listed thoughtfully, a wry smile on his lips.  
  
"I didn't know you played the guitar."  
  
"Did. But I can still sing." He half-smiled.  
  
"Is that an offer?" she asked after moment's confusion at his surprisingly positive attitude.  
  
He looked at her scrutinisingly, "No."  
  
"Oh, well, I'll weasel it out of you one day." She smiled.  
  
"Elizabeth." Doctor Dorsett pushed brusquely through the doors into Robert's room. "I've been looking all over for you - when you're finished with this guy could we discuss our 6 o'clock hernia?"  
  
Elizabeth turned, ridiculously uncomfortable, "Yeah, I'll be right with you." She said. Dorsett pushed back through the doors with as little grace as he had on his way in.  
  
"Sorry." Elizabeth turned back to Robert.  
  
"You should go." He replied distantly  
  
"Yeah, I should." She didn't move, "people are already talking."  
  
"They'll talk about anything." He replied simply, not sure if the gossip was about Elizabeth and him, or about Elizabeth and Dorsett.  
  
"Yeah." Elizabeth stood. "I'll see you when I see you." She walked out. Robert sighed and closed his eyes, his dream fading to the point of no return. She was out of his league - why hadn't he moved on years ago? He asked himself, knowing the answer but refusing to let himself think it.  
  
Suddenly, she pushed back through the doors, "No, you know what? He can wait - he's a cocky jerk who doesn't know how to take a 'no'. You can be a cocky jerk too, but…" she swallowed, not knowing how to finish her sentence.  
  
Robert looked at her, "but what Lizzie?"  
  
She held his eye contact for a few seconds but soon dropped her eyes to the floor in confusion.  
  
"You've got the upper hand here - you know how I feel, maybe not all of it, but-"  
  
He was broken off by Kerry pushing through the doors with the same level of enthusiasm as Dorsett had.  
  
"Elizabeth, I thought I might find you here - can I see you please? I'm not paying you to visit patients." Elizabeth turned and followed her out into an empty room.  
  
"Elizabeth," Kerry began, but Elizabeth cut her off,  
  
"How dare you? He has worked his arse off for this hospital since the day he got here and he may not be the easiest person to work with but-"  
  
"Easiest? He's a nightmare." Kerry interrupted her rant  
  
"He's taking crap from enough directions at the moment - the last thing he needs is you, tearing him down with your verbal nail gun."  
  
"I was not attacking him."  
  
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "and I wasn't visiting him - I had just finished changing his dressing."  
  
"Oh." Kerry looked at the floor. "Are you sure you're the best person to do that?"  
  
"Are you questioning my ability or my professionalism?"  
  
"Your objectivity. You know to step away if you get too involved."  
  
"Kerry, this is none of your concern." Elizabeth walked out of the room, knowing Kerry was awfully close to the truth. She didn't want to go back and talk to Robert until she could tell him what she wanted, what she felt - and she didn't know what that was yet. Unfortunately, she didn't want to talk to Dorsett either, but she didn't have so much choice there - when the elevator doors opened onto the fourth floor he stepped in beside her.   
  
"Oh, good," he began and went on to ask about some complications with the operation they were to perform in an hour. She answered his questions mechanically, her mind occupied otherwise. "So, afterwards?" Dorsett asked, the hernia discussion evidently over - her progressed onto his favourite subject, "You think we could get that coffee you promised me?"  
  
"I'm on the ER from 8 till 10."  
  
"How about afterwards?"  
  
"I really have to get home." Elizabeth said impatiently.  
  
"Am I wasting my time here?" He turned to face her. He was so close it made her uncomfortable. "I mean, do you want to go out or are you just making excuses cause its easier than telling me the truth."  
  
Elizabeth sighed, "Edward, I'm not in the best place right now, and I don't think I should -"  
  
"That's all I needed to know." He shrugged. And walked away as soon as the doors opened.  
  
At ten o'clock Elizabeth pushed through the doors into the locker room. She leaned against a locker, blinking and trying to control her sigh. Susan Lewis entered behind her, yawning,  
  
"Long day huh?"  
  
Elizabeth smiled at her, "Yeah," she opened her locker and started to get changed out of her scrubs.  
  
"How do you do it?" Susan asked, doing the same thing.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Work and be a mum."  
  
"Oh, good nanny. And I now know the crèche staff."  
  
Susan shook her head and smiled admiringly. "How's Romano?"  
  
Elizabeth looked at her and nodded, "better. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you visited."  
  
"Real? I wasn't sure cause he can be a bit hostile."  
  
"A bit?" Elizabeth laughed.  
  
Susan smiled, "How's his attitude?"  
  
"Better today," Elizabeth slung her bag over her shoulder, "I don't know why though. It was awful at first."  
  
Susan nodded, "Good to hear he's on the improve."  
  
Elizabeth smiled, "Yeah, I think he is. I'd better go, Ella will want to go to the park tomorrow and she doesn't appreciate it when I fall asleep on a park bench."  
  
Susan laughed, "Yeah. See you later."  
  
Elizabeth leant over Ella's cot, looking at her chubby sleeping face. She smiled in her sleep, making Elizabeth smile. She wished she could spend more time with her beautiful little girl - tomorrow she had the whole day - she wasn't on call until 4pm and that was enough time to go to the park, go out for lunch and go home for a nap - for both of them. Chris would arrive at 4 so Elizabeth could go into the hospital and get some paper work out of the way - and she'd be close by if she got paged. She went into her own room and collapsed on the bed. Kicking off her shoes, she pulled the blankets back and tucked them around her. She'd made a habit of sleeping in her clothes recently. She soon got comfortable and her eyes fell shut. 


	4. Now it gets interesting see? I gave this...

I'll work on the titles...  
  
As for disclaimers, i'll leave that to the pros.  
  
Yeah, i know you just want to read the damn story -go on.  
  
***  
  
Elizabeth walked hand-in-hand with Ella along the waterfront. Ella was keeping up the conversation without much help. Elizabeth looked out across the water, with the sun gleaming off it. She looked back to the path and saw Robert leaning on the wall, looking out at the same gorgeous view.  
  
"Hello," she said, stopping beside him and turning to the view, "stunning, isn't it?"  
  
He turned and looked at her, "Yes."  
  
"Wobut!" Ella reached up to him. He picked her up.  
  
"Hello Ella, are you taking your mother for a walk?"  
  
"Yup." Ella giggled. Elizabeth smiled at him.  
  
"We were just on our way to get a hotdog." Elizabeth said, unable to take her eyes off him, "You want to join us?"  
  
"Sure," he smiled at her and put Ella down to walk. With his now-free hand he took hers and they walked along the waterfront toward a hotdog vendor in companionable silence, with a hungry and excitable Ella skipping ahead of them.  
  
Robert laughed.  
  
"What?" She looked at him.  
  
"She's so happy. You must be doing something right."  
  
Elizabeth smiled at him, "I have a brilliant nanny."  
  
"No, she adores you. You can't be everywhere at once Lizzie." He stopped walking and turned to her.  
  
"I know," she faced him, "but sometimes I put being a doctor before being a mom."  
  
"Mommy." Ella tugged Elizabeth's skirt, "Come on."  
  
"Well, you should at least feed her Elizabeth." Robert teased, "What'll it be?" he knelt down so he was the same height as Ella.  
  
"Hotdog!" Ella grinned excitedly.  
  
"With ketchup, for her, and just mustard on mine." Elizabeth told the hotdog vendor. Robert passed them to her and paid for them,  
  
"Lets sit down." He nodded toward a picnic table. Ella jumped on Elizabeth's lap, waking her from her dream.  
  
"Good morning sweetie." Elizabeth sat up reluctantly and took Ella on her lap, "did you sleep well?"  
  
"Yes," Ella grinned, "Breakfast?"  
  
"Okay," Elizabeth stood up and tucked Ella under the covers, "You stay here and keep warm in Mommy's bed. I'll be right back."  
  
Elizabeth walked into the kitchen thinking about her dream. The night before she had been so confused about Robert, but in her dream it was so simple - everything was okay between them and now she was so relaxed. With toast and juice on a tray Elizabeth returned to her bedroom. Ella was sitting under the blankets, leaning on big pillows, in the middle of Elizabeth's bed. She looked so tiny in the big bed. Elizabeth got in beside her and they ate breakfast, excitedly talking about their day. An hour later they left for the park.  
  
After Ella had run around the playground for an hour they walked along the waterfront toward a hotdog vendor. Elizabeth couldn't help but be disappointed that Robert wasn't there - even though she knew he would be in hospital for at least another day. This is so silly, she told herself, if you want to visit him then do so. But Ella was yawning from all the walking and Elizabeth needed some more sleep before her shift. So they took a taxi home.  
  
At 3:30 Elizabeth woke from her nap, cosy and dozy on the sofa. She could hear Ella stirring but her body told her to stay right where she was, with the sunlight warming her body.   
  
"Mommy." Ella called lazily down the stairs.  
  
"Coming sweetie." Elizabeth called, pulling herself off the couch.  
  
Twenty minutes later Chris arrived and Elizabeth walked to the El. She planned to get to the hospital, disappear into her office for two hours and get through a lot of paperwork, then buy something from the café for dinner and visit Robert. Assuming she didn't get paged. Sitting on the train she tried to relax. And she was still trying to relax an hour later when she sat up to her elbows in paperwork. She couldn't concentrate. She'd decided, during her mind's digression, to get Robert something from the gift shop. Now, as she continued to try and focus on the paper in front of her, her mind wondered what she could get him. Something that would make him laugh but also to show her concern and affection.  
  
A few minutes later she stood up - it was no good. She'd go and visit him now and come back and do the paper work once she'd gotten him out of her system.  
  
Down in the gift shop she flicked through some cheesy cards and balloons. Nothing was right for him. Maybe a magazine - something to keep him busy. Or a recipe book - he'd said he cooked - or at least he'd said it was more difficult with only one arm. Yeah, she'd get him a cookbook. What kind of food did he like? She had no idea - well something basic that he could use frequently would be best. She picked out a desserts one with a giant chocolate cake on the cover. Her stomach growled. She took the book to the counter. While they were gift wrapping it she saw a basket of dog chew-toys. She went and rifled through them until she found a big dimpled purple ball. It had a happy face on one side and a grumpy face on the other side. Robert's got a dog. It made her laugh, and hoping it would have the same effect on Robert she handed it to the shop assistant. She picked a little card from beside the counter - a cartoon of a man covered in bandages like a mummy, lying on a bed with an arm and leg lifted in slings. It was silly and he probably wouldn't really like it but she could write something decent inside and that'd make all the difference. Anyway, her stomach was protesting to hunger at a volume that allowed everyone within two meters to hear it. With the presents in a bag she headed to the cafeteria and ordered a big bowl of potato wedges. While she ate she wrote in the card. And then with two decaf cups of coffee in one hand and a gift bag in the other she took the elevator up the Robert's ward. She was terrified her pager would go off and she wouldn't get to see him. In anticipation she walked into his room.  
  
"Lizzie." He smiled at her, sitting up in the bed. He wasn't wearing the hospital gown anymore - his housekeeper must have brought him some clothes. He looked a lot better, in a blue short-sleeved shirt, open at the collar, and khakis. And he had more colour in his face.   
  
She smiled at him, "Hi. How are you feeling?" she offloaded the coffee onto his bedside table but held the gift bag.  
  
"Much better - it's good to get into my own clothes."  
  
"You look better," she nodded. "Oh, I got you something." She put the bag beside him on the bed.  
  
He looked at her confused and surprised, "Lizzie, you didn't need to do that."  
  
"I wanted to," she shrugged and he took the two packages out of the bag, "Oh, don't open them now." She put the empty bag on the floor.  
  
"Oh, but the anticipation." He teased.  
  
"No, don't."  
  
"Okay, at least I'll have something to look forward to when you leave." He leant over and put them back in the bag. "How was your day?"  
  
"Good - me and Ella went to the park, got a hotdog for lunch and then slept all afternoon. Then I came in here and have been locked up in my office with a rainforest worth of trees in paper."  
  
"You should have taken my offer."  
  
"Looking after Ella will keep you busy enough - though it's probably more dangerous than paperwork."  
  
"You still want me to?" He asked, unsure of himself.  
  
"Yeah, if you're brave enough."  
  
"Well now I don't have a choice." He pretended to be frustrated but soon smiled.  
  
"Good - I still have my babysitter. Oh, by the way, I can sign you out tomorrow if you think you're ready to go."  
  
"Really? Absolutely." He nodded. She was looking at him a little unsure if it was his pride talking. "I'll be fine." He assured her, taking her hand.  
  
"Okay. It's my day off so I can come in and give you a hand." She offered then noticed her slip. "Sorry."  
  
"It's okay. And don't come in on your day off - give them the paperwork tonight. I'll be fine."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous."  
  
"What? I'm not, it's your day off and I will be fine," he said, as much trying to convince himself as her.  
  
"Robert, I'm coming in." She held his eye contact stubbornly, challenging him to disagree.  
  
"Oh come on, why do you care so much?" Robert said what he was thinking before he could stop himself.  
  
"Why do any of us care, Robert? None of us are worthy of compassion… or love… or whatever you want to call it, but we get it and give it anyway. Plus, this is how we work - you and I - we are cruel and sarcastic most of the time but occasionally we help each other out - it's how we work."  
  
"No. It's how you work. I never gave you anything."  
  
"You've never been pregnant - you don't know how important food is when you're pregnant." She insisted. "And you sent me home to Mark when I thought I couldn't go. I never thanked you for that, but…" she trailed off unsure how to continue, "thank you."  
  
"What was it like?" he asked, unsure of his footing on this topic.  
  
Elizabeth took a deep breath and looked away, "awful. Seeing someone you love in agony makes you realise how much you really do care - I didn't think I had it in me. But it's the same whenever Ella is sick and it was the same with you when I was changing your dressing yesterday. It just surprised me how affected I was."  
  
"You have an amazing capacity to give, Elizabeth. I don't have a clue - and I'm not too crash-hot at receiving it either - as you know."  
  
"Well, there's only one way to learn." She looked at him earnestly, her eyes speaking volumes.  
  
He quickly looked away, "How many times can I play the 'momentary weakness' card?" he mumbled frustrated. He looked back at her when she didn't reply. She was still looking at him the same way - so openly, full of anticipation and fear, hope and compassion. "Elizabeth, don't toy with me." He begged.  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"You don't want this." He insisted, unable to break her eye contact.  
  
"You don't know what I want."  
  
"Then tell me."  
  
Elizabeth took a controlled breath: in and out. "You." She whispered.  
  
Bleep! Her pager went off, startling both of them. She checked it and rubbed her forehead. "I have to go." She practically fled the room.  
  
Robert sat there in shock for a second, then swung his legs off the bed and ran after her. Hearing the doors open and shut behind her Elizabeth turned around. Robert was walking towards her. When he reached her he put his hand behind her neck and pulled her into his kiss - right there in front of the nurse's station - not to mention the immediately curious passers-by.  
  
"This some sort of strange ritual? First Kerry and now this one?" One of the nurses turned amused to another.  
  
"No." the nurse replied wide-eyed, still staring at them. The other followed her stare - Dr Corday was kissing him back? He broke away…  
  
"I have to go." Elizabeth said smiling breathlessly.  
  
Robert just smiled in reply and watched her back into the elevator. Desperately ignoring the shocked looks of everyone in the vicinity he returned to his room, biting his lip to keep from grinning.  
  
Elizabeth was grateful to be alone in the elevator. She closed her eyes and smiled, tasting her lips. The elevator dinged and she wiped the grin off her face, walking into the ER as if everything was normal. 


	5. postkiss awkward anticipation and sweetn...

I'm going away - leading a kids camp - for the next week or so, so this will be the last chapter for a little while, but I'll keep them coming as soon as I get back.  
  
Thanks for all the reviews - I didn't think I'd get any.  
  
You might want to read the end of the last one so you can understand the start of this one.  
  
Disclaimer: characters/setting not mine. But if you're a scriptwriter from ER then please use this for season 10 - ta. If you're not, why are you reading my disclaimer - you've no reason to sue me.  
  
**  
  
Robert climbed back into bed still breathless. His mind was spinning and the grin was firmly concreted onto his face. Then he saw the gift bag - no reason for the fun to end now, he thought, picking the bag up off the floor. Thankfully, she hadn't sealed the envelope of the card - he opened it and read,  
  
"Robert, hope you are feeling better. If there's anything I can ever do please swallow you damn pride and just ask - you know I care and you have given me more than you can know. I don't offer out of pity - But I know you find that very hard to believe. Someone once said, 'what makes us human is not our minds but our hearts, not our ability to think but our ability to love.' Rather than focusing on what you can't do now - think of all the things you still can.  
  
Yours, Lizzie."  
  
Robert wiped the stray tear that had squeezed out and put the card on his bedside table. He opened the odd-shaped present first. A purple stress ball? Oh - it's a dog toy. He laughed. The faces were hilarious - like before and after pictures. Gretel will love it, he thought, opening the second gift. A cookbook? What strange gifts… but I suppose she has no idea what I would like.  
  
Then he saw some writing on the back of the card,  
  
"PS - hope you like them - the purple thing is for your dog, by the way. I didn't know what to get you - which explains the cookbook too - thought you could start your own TV show - we've had the naked chef - now we have the solo-armed chef. Maybe not. You'll have to try it out on Ella when you're babysitting."  
  
Robert Laughed out loud. Seconds later one of the nurses poked their head in, "Are you okay, Doctor Romano?"  
  
"Just fine thank you," He was still grinning and put the card back on the table.  
  
"Okay," she looked at him quizzically, "are you ready to have your dressing changed?"  
  
"And I was having such a great day."  
  
"I noticed." The nurse said under her breath but he heard her.  
  
"I don't care." He replied, "Yeah, go on, what's the worse you can do - rip my arm off?"  
  
"Lets hope not, you don't have that many left." She said, sitting beside his bed. She began to loosen the tape around his arm. "So, when are you leaving?"  
  
"You sick of me already?"  
  
"Yep." The nurse made eye contact as she removed the dressing. "That's looking great. No sign of infection. It's healing well."  
  
"I can see that." Robert gritted his teeth as she wiped the skin around the wound - it was still so sensitive - it ached all the time but when it was touched - wow, the pain level skyrocketed. The nurse quickly replaced the dressing with a fresh one and taped it to his shoulder.  
  
"There you go. Am I going to need to come back tomorrow?"  
  
"No, Lizzie - I mean Dr Corday, is signing me out in the morning. She can change the dressing."  
  
"Everyday?" the nurse asked  
  
"Yeah, but, oh, no, she's not staying with me - she's just…"  
  
"None of my business," the nurse held up her hands  
  
"True. You done?" he nodded to his left shoulder  
  
"Yeah." She turned and left, leaving Robert to the realization that gossip spread like wild fire and this would be worse than his kissing Kerry in the middle of the ER - everyone knew they couldn't stand one another - Him and Lizzie were another story entirely. Lizzie had said people were already starting to talk and that was before he kissed her in front of God and everyone. But he still couldn't bring himself to regret it. She'd kissed him back and he had thought that would only ever happen in dreams.  
  
The next morning Elizabeth got up early on her own - she was like a child on Christmas morning with all the anticipation of something really wonderful. Ella was happily playing in her cot and was obviously surprised to see her mother up and dressed and happy this early. Ella squealed and giggled reaching up for Elizabeth to pick her up. She did so and got Ella changed and fed in record time.  
  
"We're going in to the hospital for a little while." Elizabeth explained, "so do you want to get some toys to take?"  
  
"Mommy working?"  
  
"No," Elizabeth shook her head, "Not today, we're going to visit Robert, you remember Robert right?"  
  
"Wobut!" Ella smiled "Better?"  
  
Elizabeth nodded, "He's going home today - so we're going to help him." She shepherded her daughter out the door and locked it behind them. Ella stood by the passenger door, a bedraggled soft toy dog hanging by its ear from her right hand.  
  
"You're in the back seat today sweetie," Elizabeth moved the car seat and settled Ella in.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we're going to take Robert to his house." Elizabeth explained, backing out onto the road.  
  
***  
  
Robert woke up early as well. When nine o'clock rolled by he was dressed in khakis, a short sleeved shirt and trainers, sitting on the edge of his bed with all his belongings packed into a sports bag beside him. Impatiently he flicked on the cd player and lay back on the bed, putting his feet up on his bag. 'The Promise' came on again.  
  
If you wait for me  
  
Then I'll come for you  
  
Although I've travelled far  
  
I'll always hold a place for you in my heart  
  
If you think of me  
  
If you miss me once in a while  
  
Then I'll return to you  
  
I'll return, and fill that space in your heart  
  
Remembering  
  
Your touch   
  
Your kiss  
  
Your warm embrace  
  
I'll find my way  
  
Back to you  
  
If you'll be waiting  
  
If you dream of me  
  
Like I dream of you  
  
In a place that's warm and dark  
  
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart  
  
Remembering  
  
Your touch   
  
Your kiss  
  
Your warm embrace  
  
I'll find my way  
  
Back to you  
  
If you'll be waiting  
  
I've longed for you  
  
And I have desired  
  
To see your face your smile  
  
To be with you wherever you are  
  
Robert relaxed and started singing along,  
  
"Remembering  
  
Your touch   
  
Your kiss  
  
Your warm embrace  
  
I'll find my way  
  
Back to you  
  
Please say you'll be waiting  
  
I've longed for you  
  
And I have desired  
  
To see your face your smile  
  
To be with you wherever you are"  
  
He closed his eyes, imagining Lizzie's smile, her laugh, the way her face showed her emotions,   
  
Together again  
  
"It would feel so good to be  
  
In your arms  
  
Where all my journeys end  
  
If you can make a promise  
  
If its one that you can keep  
  
I vow to come for you  
  
If you wait for me…  
  
And say you hold  
  
A place, for me  
  
In your heart  
  
A place for me in your heart"  
  
He opened his eyes and leaned over to press backtrack so he could listen to it again. Then he saw her standing just inside the door with Ella on one hip. Ella's finger was on her lips, like she was telling herself to be quiet. Elizabeth was just smiling at him, holding his eye contact.  
  
"Hi." He said awkwardly, sitting up, cross-legged [same as Indian-style, except I live in New Zealand so as far as I'm concerned, it's 'cross-legged'] on his bed. Elizabeth walked over.  
  
"All packed eh?"  
  
"Yeah, can't wait to get out of here." He confessed, "sorry about the concert just then."  
  
Elizabeth shook her head, "I'm not. That was amazing."  
  
"Told you I could sing." He grinned, "Hi Ella." He took her from Elizabeth.  
  
"Hi Wobut." Ella said, a bit shy. Robert just smiled at her. She reached out to touch his left shoulder.  
  
"No, Ella…" Elizabeth began.  
  
"It's okay." Robert said quickly. He put Ella down on the bed and sat beside her then pulled up his sleeve so she could see.  
  
"No arm." Ella murmured. Robert shook his head. "Sore?" Robert nodded. Ella kissed her hand and touched his shoulder lightly.  
  
Robert smiled, "thank you, you'll make a good doctor, just like your mum."  
  
Elizabeth watched him until he turned to her and caught her staring, "could you take them?" he pointed at the CD player and bag.  
  
Elizabeth nodded and Robert gathered Ella back to him  
  
"We all ready to go?" she asked. Robert nodded, then Ella did. Elizabeth smiled, Ella loved him already - it had taken Elizabeth a lot longer to figure out that she did, but a child knew straight away…  
  
"Am I all signed out?" Robert asked.  
  
"Yep - you're a free man."  
  
"Good. Lead the way Lizzie." He stood up and followed Elizabeth out. Ella leaned her curly head against his good shoulder and comfortably played with his collar. Elizabeth turned to walk beside them and couldn't help but smile. She knew the nurses had had a field day yesterday after their public display of affection, but this would be the icing on the cake - walking out of the ward like a happy family. She could feel their curious, confused looks but ignored them and pressed the elevator button.  
  
"So, will you two stay for lunch? - I mean, when we get home."  
  
"Are you sure?" Elizabeth looked at him. Ella sat up in his arm and looked at Elizabeth,  
  
"Yes, mommy, please…" she whined.  
  
"We should pick something up on the way." Elizabeth suggested,  
  
"No, no." Robert replied, "there's plenty of food, my housekeeper did the shopping last night when I told her I was coming home."  
  
"Okay then." Elizabeth led him to her car and watched him put Ella in the car seat. He struggled for a moment with the belt until Ella held one side so he could just push the other one in. Elizabeth watched, fining herself smiling again - not really such a bad thing. 


	6. one in a million american movies first d...

I survived camp! Just - I got the flu but other than that I'm fine. And camp was awesome - but back to the reason you're reading the ramblings of a complete stranger living in middle earth… Lots of lizzie and romano mush… just the way you ordered.  
  
Disclaimer - er's not mine. If I was d'ya think I'd be posting this on the internet before the season was out on tv - I'd lose my job as the best damn script writer they ever got - and I'd be just as poor as I am now. Okay so this disclaimer has gone on for too long… just read the damn story…  
  
***  
  
Robert opened the fridge, looking for some inspiration for lunch.  
  
"We should have picked something up." Elizabeth suggested, sitting on a stool.  
  
"No, there's lots of food - what do you want? Oh, wait - here we go. He pulled out a quiche and put it on the bench. There was a note sitting on top, "Welcome home - here's my present - it's your favourite."  
  
"From Dorothy, my housekeeper." Robert explained taking the lid off.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Spinach and Feta quiche - mmm…" he smiled, "trust me," he saw Elizabeth's doubtful expression, "it's better than hospital food."  
  
"That doesn't say much." She teased  
  
"It's good, promise." He turned on the oven, "Now, lets see what we can do about a salad - and what will Ella want?" He said, looking back in the fridge - pulling out lettuce, tomatoes, and other salad ingredients.   
  
"Um, do you have some bread - I'll just make Ella some sandwiches."  
  
"Sure, just over there," he pointed to a cupboard. They worked in companionable silence. Ella was watching a video in the lounge across the hallway. She wandered in just as Elizabeth was putting the bread back.  
  
"Here you go sweetie," Elizabeth lifted Ella to a stool and handed her the jam sandwich.  
  
"Oh, Robert, where can I find a plate?"  
  
Robert handed her a plate then put the quiche in the oven. Elizabeth looked at it doubtfully, again.  
  
"Trust me." He insisted, teasingly.  
  
"I do." She smiled. He smiled at her, his eyes wandered to her lips then to Ella.  
  
"Good sandwich?" Ella nodded and smiled, revealing the semi-digested contents of her mouth. "Lets hope my quiche gets the same reaction from your mother." He pretended to whisper and winked at Ella, who proceeded laugh and deposit a significant amount of her lunch back onto the plate. Robert laughed. Elizabeth found herself watching him and smiling - Robert was laughing! This was a man who'd just had his arm removed. And not just any man - someone who had his own personal dark cloud. Smiling was more than to be expected. Laughing, she would have guessed, was out of the question. But she was more than happy in her surprise. Ella certainly brought out the best in him - okay, maybe not just Ella. He opened the fridge and got out a bottle of orange juice, poured three tumblers full and put the bottle away. Ella gulped hers down and banged the empty tumbler back on the bench.  
  
"Time for your sleep." Elizabeth said, removing the tumbler from her daughter's hand. Ella shook her head and made stubborn eye contact with her mother.  
  
"Careful." Robert warned the toddler, "You mom's been known to beat me with her stubbornness, and I'm bigger than you are."  
  
Ella looked at him confused as Elizabeth picked her up. "Do you have a spare bedroom where I could put her down?"  
  
"Sure," Robert led the pair upstairs. The guest room had a cot! Elizabeth looked at him confused.  
  
"I have a niece - so she's fifteen now, but she visited when she was little too. Knew it would come in handy one day." He grinned. Elizabeth put Ella down, despite the toddler's squirming.  
  
"I'll check on lunch," Robert disappeared out the door.  
  
"You are amazing with her." Elizabeth said softly as she entered the kitchen.  
  
"She's a great kid." Robert gestured to a seat for her and sat in his own.  
  
"She is. But that's not what I meant." Elizabeth sat down and Robert waited for her to explain. "She brings out a side of you that I never saw at the hospital - until recently."  
  
"I have a thing for younger women." He teased, serving two slices of quiche. Elizabeth just looked at him. "What can I say? I have high standards and Ella is more gorgeous than any of those argumentative ambitious idiots at work - myself included."  
  
"Robert…"  
  
"Plus, she's funny, intelligent, affectionate, honest, trusting and just like her mother - it's no wonder I like her." Elizabeth just smiled and shook her head. Robert turned serious, "As much as everyone at the hospital can't stand me they admire intelligence and decisiveness and authority"  
  
"Things you have in spades."  
  
"So I let that define me, they respected me and I wanted no more from any of them. But Ella wouldn't be impressed by all that stuff."  
  
"She's not the only one." Elizabeth said tentatively  
  
"That's why I like her mother too." He smiled and leaned over to kiss the beautiful face before him. He couldn't believe he had the boldness to do so but she kissed him back, caressing his face with her hand. He pulled back, smiling. "Lunch is going cold."  
  
She smiled, "Okay, enough stalling, I'll just have to be brave and try it." She looked doubtfully at the quiche. Robert laughed and took a bite.  
  
"Come on Lizzie, have some faith. I won't poison you. Not today."  
  
She smiled and took a bite. It was creamy and salty and warm. She didn't hide her surprise very well.  
  
"You of little faith." He shook his head, taking another hungry mouthful, watching her lips eating appreciatively.  
  
"Sorry," she smiled, "It's very good - you're right." She smiled and sat watching him contentedly.  
  
"What?" He asked, swallowing.  
  
"Nothing." She shook her head and took another bite.  
  
As Elizabeth finished her slice she yawned.  
  
"Sorry, the company's not as good as the food."  
  
"The food wasn't that good." She teased, laughing, and yawned again, "sorry."  
  
Robert shrugged, "why don't you go have a rest - there's a great sofa in the lounge - very comfortable, I've spent many a night on it - when the stairs were just too daunting and the fire was just too warm."  
  
"You sure." Elizabeth asked - the offer was very tempting.  
  
"Yeah, go for it. I'll clean up and keep an eye on Ella."  
  
"Okay. Thank you." Elizabeth backed out of the kitchen, saying, as she left, "wake me if Ella stirs."  
  
Robert finished the dishes in record time and forced himself not to run down the hallway to the lounge. He held his breath and poked his head through the door. Elizabeth was sleeping on the couch, her hair spread around her face, her arms wrapped around herself. She was so beautiful - and so peaceful. Robert was quite happy to just sit on the coffee table and watch her sleep. So he did - for as long as he dared - he didn't want her to wake and find him staring at her - or did he? Ella. He could check on Ella. He snuck out of the lounge and took the stairs two at a time. Ella was fine - breathing deeply, clutching her blankets. She looked so much like Elizabeth. Robert knew he would be haunted by the image of Elizabeth forever - no matter what happened between them. But maybe things could work out? There was a chance - more now than ever - she'd said she wanted him - maybe she didn't quite love him like he did her - but maybe she could, one day… Ella rolled over, tearing Robert from his thoughts. He tucked the blanket under her warm body and left the room, returning to his perch on the coffee table. Elizabeth opened her eyes as he sat down. She smiled at him.  
  
"Good sleep?" he asked. She nodded. "Ella's still sleeping." He answered her unspoken question. Elizabeth yawned and stretched as she sat up to face him. Robert let out a sharp breath.  
  
"You all right?" she asked him, suddenly concerned.  
  
He nodded, "You are so beautiful." He looked away awkwardly, realising he'd spoken his thoughts aloud, "sorry."  
  
Elizabeth moved forward so she was sitting on the edge of the couch and their knees were touching. "Enough with the doubts Robert. There's no where else I want to be." His face was only inches away but she wanted him to make the first move - he needed to believe her. And she needed to know it. He searched her eyes for what seemed like hours. But he wasn't prepared for what he found - so much adoration, longing, even dependence. Tentatively he leaned forward, brushing his lips carefully against hers, still refusing to break eye contact. She blinked at the touch of his lips but kept looking into his eyes. "Believe me." She whispered desperately.  
  
"I do." He replied hoarsely and kissed her again, closing his eyes and throwing restraint to the wind. He pulled her closer with his hand between her shoulder blades. They simultaneously dropped to their knees in the space between them on the floor. There was no rush - they were both so surprised to have gotten this far - and minutes later they had hardly moved. Robert pulled back and just looked at her face, smiling.  
  
"We should try a real date some time." He said lightly.  
  
"I'm pretty sure today counts."  
  
"Well, in that case, to quote one in a million American films, can I see you again?" He said softly  
  
"Yes." She whispered and kissed him again then smiled. "It was the best first date in a while."  
  
"Despite the whole return from having arm amputated in hospital thing."  
  
"Yeah, apart from that." She smiled and took a deep breath in and out - still holding eye contact… until she yawned again.  
  
"I knew it - that's the effect I have on women." He laughed - despite his attempts to play-serious. Elizabeth shook her head and laughed with him.  
  
"Go back to sleep if you like - I mean, if you're still tired."  
  
"No, I should get Ella up or she'll never sleep tonight."  
  
"Let me. I could use the practise. And you could use the sleep - am I right?"  
  
Elizabeth slowly nodded and lay back on the couch, watching him leave the room.  
  
She woke to soft laughter and opened her eyes surprised to find she was alone in the room. She stood up and followed the enticing sound to its source. She found them in the library - Robert lying on his back with Ella sitting on his stomach. He was laughing and she was bobbing up and down as his laughter shook his body. Elizabeth stood in the doorway, watching and smiling.  
  
"Mama!" Ella gave her away. Elizabeth stepped into the room.  
  
"Lizzie." Robert smiled and tried to sit up but didn't quite make it. Elizabeth picked up Ella and Robert sat up.  
  
"Have you had fun?" she asked Ella  
  
"See, she has no faith in me." Robert said to Ella, stroking her head. Ella giggled, nodding.  
  
"I have great faith in you." She kissed Ella, then Robert - though for a little longer. "It looks like she's not the only one who had fun."  
  
Robert looked down at his crumpled and twisted clothes then straightened them hurriedly. Elizabeth just smiled at him. "Thank you. The sleep was great."  
  
"Good. You want to stay for dinner?"  
  
"You sure?" Elizabeth put a squirming Ella down on the floor.  
  
"Well, you said you didn't mind seeing me again - what can I say - I'm a bit quick on the up-take."  
  
"Dinner would be great - I mean I'd love to stay - but you need to rest."  
  
"Yeah." He relented - her surprise was evident. "Maybe another night though."  
  
Elizabeth nodded. "Oh, I almost forgot, I have to change that dressing before I leave."  
  
"Here comes the bit I've been waiting for." Robert rolled his eyes. "I get turned down for the second date and she insists on biting my arm off."  
  
"Well I was going to use my hands but if you insist." She chomped her teeth together.   
  
Robert laughed, "in the kitchen eh? Don't want to gross out your innocent daughter."  
  
"Okay. I don't know about innocent though. She's known to be far too charming and weasel her way into staying up late, getting extra sweets and many other equally suspicious things." Elizabeth said, following him out of the room.  
  
"Sounds like me." He shrugged.  
  
"You are many things Robert - but I've never thought of you as innocent, or, for that matter, charming - no offence - but you've boasted of your honesty - and charm and honesty rarely meld well."  
  
"Okay, fair enough." He sat on a stool in the kitchen as Elizabeth put her bag on the bench and pulled up another stool. She let one foot rest on the bottom of his stool so that her knee touched his. She hoped this might comfort him because the next few minutes might be uncomfortable to say the least. Robert took off his shirt and looked at her knee touching his. He didn't want to give away his pain by looking her in the eyes. She peeled off the tape that held on the dressing and sensitively removed it. It was clean and healing well so she quickly put the new dressing together and wrapped it up again, trying to touch him as little as possible. She was finished but he didn't move. He remained there - staring at their knees, not moving.  
  
"You okay?" she asked putting her hand on his shoulder. The muscles were tense.  
  
He looked up, "Yeah. Thank you."  
  
She nodded slightly, "turn around."   
  
He complied without question and she softly started to massage the muscles in his shoulder, careful to avoid getting too close to the wound. She tried to ignore how good it felt to touch him - but she wasn't doing a very good job. Then he moaned.  
  
"Sorry." She said taking her hands away.  
  
"No, that's good. My shoulder gets really stiff - I don't move it much - it hurts enough when it's still." He explained.  
  
"Oh." She moved her hands back to his shoulder - more aware of their touch than before. She kept rubbing his skin, feeling the taught muscles slowly loosen beneath her touch. Could she have the same effect on the man as she did on the muscle? Yeah - she had already - to some degree. He was a lot more relaxed around her than she'd ever have imagined. She couldn't remember how many times he'd amazed her that day - with his openness. He was letting her see him. Was she letting him see her? Not to the same degree. She needed to let him in a bit. She hadn't given anything away - but she needed to. This was one of the reasons he found it so hard to believe she wanted to be with him.  
  
She left her thoughts there, realizing the ache in her hands. Reluctantly she let go of his shoulder. She walked around to face him, "I'm no masseuse - my hands will fall off soon."  
  
"We can't have that happening. The hospital won't know how to operate without you and I think one or other of us should be fully armed." He teased, taking her hand. He stroked it with his thumb, "thank you."  
  
"I hope it helps. I really should go." She turned to look toward the door into the room where Ella was.  
  
"Yeah." He stood up beside her and followed her back to where Ella was playing happily. "How's it going?" he scooped her up as Elizabeth picked up the toys, depositing them into a bag. "Did you miss your human jungle-gym?"  
  
Ella giggled, and poked his nose, "yeah."  
  
"I think I've got everything." Elizabeth stood up and put the bag over her shoulder. She followed Robert out of the room, then out of the house. He put Ella in her car seat and took the bags from Elizabeth and put them in the car as well.  
  
"Okay, so I'm working at 2 tomorrow so could I drop Ella over here about 1?"  
  
"Come for lunch? You can't turn down a second date twice in one day."  
  
"Sure I could, but I have no wish to." She kissed him - surprising both of them, but she missed his mouth - hitting the side of his nose.  
  
"We'll have to work on that tomorrow, over lunch." He laughed at her, then taking her face in his hand, he gave her a decent good-bye kiss.  
  
"Oh, well, one of us got it right." She said breathlessly, a minute later.  
  
"But he doesn't mind helping - anything for you Lizzie." He said sincerely then opened the car door for her. "Bye Ella." He waved. "Bye." He mouthed to Elizabeth, holding her eye contact and trying to restrain his grin as she backed out the driveway. 


	7. all you need is love john lennon wise ma...

And here we go… chapter seven… more cordano mush. Yay! Excuse the austenitis… you'll see what I mean. But at least I'm posting these more frequently - it's the start of second semester so no study to do… as yet. We'll see how long it lasts. In the meantime, enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer. Don't own it. And now I've said it so you can't sue me. Lizzie and Robert and Ella and Kerry (yah, she's in this one, gutted eh?), and Mark (don't worry I won't resurrect him from the dead - at least not in this chapter), and the ER, and kissing (oops, I'm giving too much away) aren't mine.  
  
Elizabeth buckled Ella into her car seat, appreciating that Robert could only perform such a feat with the wriggling toddler's cooperation. Maybe that's why he got on with Ella so well - he needed Ella so Ella trusted him. Elizabeth knew that he needed her too. But did she trust him? She played the question over in her mind. Yes. She did. But another question nagged at the back of her brain - did she love him? Part of her said yes immediately, without a second thought. But her logic and rationale jumped in - you hardly know this man, until recently you didn't even like him and you only like him now because you pity him and - yes - because he needs you - and you just love to be needed. Plus - what would Mark think of this? Leaving Ella with Robert would have Mark spinning in his grave but you - falling for Robert? - no way. You just want to help him out - you need to move on from Mark and you're lonely but this is the WRONG way to go about it.   
  
These thoughts whirred through Elizabeth's head on the drive to Robert's place but when she got there and was standing at his doorstep with Ella in one arm and her bag in the other she could only remember the first answer she'd given to her question: yes. You love him. You're scared - so is he, but you love him and that's enough.  
  
Robert opened the door and smiled at her - in fact grinned would be the better adjective. Elizabeth stared back at him, a little out of breath.   
  
He looked concerned, "Are you okay?" he took Ella and Elizabeth followed him inside, nodding unconvincingly. He put Ella down in the lounge, handed the child Elizabeth's bag and lead Elizabeth by the hand, back into the hallway.  
  
"What is it?" he looked into her eyes searchingly, "Tell me."  
  
"I love you." She said simply.   
  
He didn't even attempt to hide his grin, "Is that such a bad thing?"  
  
She shook her head slightly, a smile emerging on her lips.  
  
"Okay." He was still holding her hand, "cause I love you but I didn't want to rush things in case…" his speech ended when she kissed him. And it wasn't just a peck on the mouth to shut him up; it was a fully-fledged invitation to swallow her whole. Robert recovered from the shock, revelling in her touch. If his heart hadn't been beating loud enough to shake the floor he would have been sure he was dead. She loved him! It wasn't something he found easy to believe but he had to. She was here - kissing him! She'd said it! He pulled back reluctant and breathless,  
  
"Lizzie, wait."  
  
She looked at him - her surprise evident.  
  
"I have waited for years for this, for you."  
  
"I know." She interrupted.  
  
"How did you know?" he asked, fully aware of how close they were, their skin and clothing brushing gently as they regained their breath.  
  
"You told me." She began, "you were semi-conscious at the time and I told myself you didn't mean it but I knew you did…"  
  
"When I was coming out of anaesthesia after my arm…" he realised, "I thought that was a dream, sorry."  
  
"Don't apologise Robert."  
  
"No, it wasn't fair - we weren't anything then - I mean, we're undefined NOW, but…"  
  
"It was only a week ago."  
  
"Not any ordinary week."  
  
"That's true." She admitted, "but Robert… you see, I've been um… confused - about my feelings for you for a while now - they've been on some kind of bordering-on-abusive roller coaster. And this last week has been - well, it's different now, you know what I mean. Maybe the ride's over, or maybe it's just starting - I really don't know. But today, on the way over here, I was being very brave and letting my mind wander and I had a mental list of all the reasons you and I couldn't happen or last or anything… the thing is…" she struggled to finish but she'd committed to telling him - hell, she'd already told him, "the thing is, I thought of lots of reasons I shouldn't love you and then I realised that I already did - I do. And all that stuff really doesn't matter - I just think too much and make big things out of nothings and…" Now it was Robert's turn to end the conversation with his mouth.  
  
"Exactly," Elizabeth breathed as she came up for breath but Robert quickly silenced her. And they continued in this happy manner [don't mind my Jane Austen-like phrases, they'll pop up occasionally as a result of my minor mental disability - Austinitis] for not nearly long enough - until they were inopportunely interrupted by Elizabeth's pager. [what do you know? Even the names are Austen-tacious… lol! Sorry, my apologies to all incredibly confused non-Austen fans… at least Elizabeth and Darcy were never interrupted by a pager… sorry, couldn't resist… back to the story]  
  
BLEEEP!  
  
"Oh, shit." Elizabeth said breathlessly.  
  
"Not in front of the children." Robert poked his head into the lounge then held his index finger to Elizabeth's lips and proceeded to kiss them tentatively while she checked the [damn!] pager.  
  
"Weaver? My biggest fan." Elizabeth said dryly when her lips were free.  
  
"Wouldn't she just love to know what she dragged you away from?"  
  
"Well I'm due in 10 minutes anyway. At least I don't have to explain being late - I'm sure they'd just love to hear it - um, yeah, sorry Kerry, I took my daughter over to Robert's, he's, you know, my makeshift nanny for the week, and I was delayed because of a little delightful tonsil tennis - or maybe I could invent a jargon-like medical term for kissing." Elizabeth laughed, "I better go."  
  
"Probably," Robert opened the door, the mental image of Kerry's reaction, not to mention the very-real image of the stunning woman holding his heart, causing him to grin in an adorable child-like way. Elizabeth kissed him quickly holding his shoulders for as long as possible as she backed away.  
  
"I'll see you tonight." She got in the car, "should be finished before eleven - but you know what it's like. Ella should go down about eight."  
  
"Okay. Have fun. And make sure you tell Kerry the truth about why you're late."  
  
"I'm not late yet." Elizabeth waved through the wound-down car window.  
  
Robert was still grinning like an idiot but he really didn't care as he waved goodbye and went inside.  
  
Ella was asleep.  
  
"Okay, I suppose a nap won't do any damage." Robert smiled at the similarity between Ella and her mother. This was too perfect - he hardly believed it - and yet, only a moment ago, Elizabeth had been in his arms - correction, arm - and Ella was sleeping on his sofa. He made his way into the kitchen, determined to do something useful with his afternoon. Or you could sleep, he suggested to himself, hoping he could dream of Lizzie. Sounds good, he returned to the lounge and lay on the vacant sofa, watching Ella as he drifted off to sleep. 


	8. questions, tears, dinner, goodnight kiss...

Yup, here's your bi-weekly dose of Robert and Lizzie. Ta-da! Sorry it's taken a while - been busy writing other story - original fiction is more likely to pay a bill oneday, but since i live in the land down under it will only pay ONE bill - as opposed to THE bills - so writing is a no win career. dat's why i'm at university studying english - cause that is just so useful - sure. sorry, i'm babbling. back to the point...  
  
Disclaimer: here we go again… Elizabeth, Robert, Ella and ER are not mine. If they were I wouldn't be posting the story on ff.net before it was out on tv cuz I'd lose my job and ER would lose the privilege of such great [cordano] scripts!  
  
***  
  
"Time of death 2345" Elizabeth said. She leant on the gurney as people milled around her, keeping busy and doing their jobs, very effectively ignoring the fact that a two-year old had just died on their table. No, it was HER table. Life and death passed under her hands everyday and the why of it all escaped her - why some lived and others died. Why murderers and rapists survived to serve prison sentences while beloved fathers, like Mark, and children, like the one before her, died. Those who had so much to do had it snatched away while those who deserved death survived. Then again, who was she to judge? Maybe this gorgeous kid could have grown up to be something awful. And maybe for those who she thought deserved death, life was a greater punishment. Who did decide? Was it justice? No - not for this kid. She looked at the peaceful face of the pale blonde toddler. She willed the child to whimper, to cry out, to wriggle or giggle or anything. But the kid just lay there. "Damn!" she kicked a chair as she turned to leave. She forced herself to swallow the angry tears in the back of her throat and walked purposefully to the staff lounge. On seeing there was no coffee made she turned and walked out, again as purposefully, and down to the locker room. She changed quickly, not even looking in the mirror before she left, she didn't care. There were no taxis so she pace-walked impatiently to the el station, remembering to go to Robert's to get Ella, instead of home. She didn't want to see anyone - talk to anyone. Hopefully Robert would understand - she just wanted to go home. She wanted to stay numb and not think about work but she knew that as soon as she set eyes on Ella she'd see the 2 year old that had died on her table. Damn! She thought, mentally abusing herself even though there was nothing she could have done. The el bumped along mindlessly.  
  
Twenty minutes later she stood on Robert's doorstep. She knocked lightly, not minding standing in the cold. After a half a minute or so she knocked again. This time Robert heard and came to the door.  
  
"Hey, come in." he said and closed the door behind her. "You hungry? You look freezing."  
  
"I'm alright - food would be good." She looked away from his enquiring eyes but he managed to spot the tearstains on her cheeks.  
  
"What happened?" he put his hand on her shoulder, willing her to look at him.  
  
"um," Elizabeth stalled. She went to start telling him several times but didn't know how to start. "I, um, lost a patient. I hate that - it's so impersonal. We have to be impersonal - I hate that. Cause I'm not unaffected. She was two years old." The tears spilled again.  
  
"Did she remind you…?" he started to ask, knowing he didn't need to finish the question.  
  
"Yes." She nodded, "but that's not why I'm so upset. Who picks who lives and dies? Whoever it is makes far too many mistakes. It sucks!"  
  
"Do you know how many times I've told God he got the wrong guy?"  
  
"What, is he sitting up there throwing lightening bolts around like pick-up sticks? What about compassion? God of love, right." She scoffed angrily.  
  
"Yeah." He said softly pulling her into his embrace. She went to pull away at first but after a moment she went to him willingly. He just stood there with her, in the hallway, while she sobbed on his shoulder. When she let go of the tight hold she had on him she found his shirt tearstained so that it was see-through where her face had been.   
  
"Sorry." She wiped her face.  
  
"It's my turn." He smiled. "You want dinner?"  
  
She nodded and followed him into the kitchen. Robert pressed start on the microwave and poured two glasses of wine then sat beside her at the bench.  
  
"Thank you." She smiled, her eyes still glassy. She was surprised at how much better she felt. In past months Robert would have asked many questions - of course he had, she just hadn't realised before. It was amazing how at peace he was about it. But it wasn't as if he had any answers. He was just okay about that, comfortable in not understanding why things happened. She sat in Robert's kitchen amazed at the man before her.  
  
"What?" he asked when he noticed she was staring at him.  
  
"Nothing." She lied. He knew she wasn't telling him the truth and would have insisted, except the microwave finished and beeped. "What is it?" she asked as he got her dinner.  
  
"Chicken, spinach, bread, feta and pine nut salad - oh, and it's got pumpkin seeds and mushrooms and the dressing is yoghurt and balsamic vinegar. It sounds weird but it's really nice."  
  
"Okay, this time I won't even doubt you. Did you make it?" she asked, piling her fork with a bit of everything. Robert nodded. Then she nodded appreciating the flavours.  
  
"You're a really good cook." She said, her mouth still half full.  
  
"Thanks," he grinned at her table manners.  
  
"So what did you and Ella get up to today?" she asked, loading up her fork again.  
  
"Well, she slept till 3:30 then we went for a walk and when we got back we played doctors - I was the patient - then Ella made dinner while I played - oh no, right the other way around. I made Ella dinner - she played. Then we watched The Simpsons and I put Ella to bed." He shrugged, "that's about it - oh, and then I made my dinner - and yours, and I slept on the couch while some lame movie flicked across the TV screen. Then you came home and saved me from an even lamer movie."  
  
"Good."  
  
"It was." He agreed and sipped his wine. She kept eating and they sat in companionable silence until she was finished.  
  
"Thank you." She said as he put her plate in the sink. "I should probably take Ella home - and me. I'm tired."  
  
"What time's your shift tomorrow?"  
  
"I'm going in at nine. Which is…" she looked at her watch, "seven hours away."  
  
"Leave Ella with me."  
  
Elizabeth considered for a moment, "if you're sure…"  
  
"Yeah, absolutely, in fact, why don't you stay as well - there's a bed right by Ella's cot in the guest room."  
  
After consideration Elizabeth nodded, her curls bouncing around her face. "Okay." She said, her voice suddenly soft.  
  
"Good, then I can make you breakfast before you go - we can't have you passing out during surgery." He led her upstairs, his hand on the small of her back, "Oh, that reminds me, did you explain your lateness truthfully?"  
  
"I was only a few minutes late - I said it was because I was sorting things out with Ella's nanny."  
  
"Oh, so I'm a nanny now?"  
  
Elizabeth grinned, shaking her head, "you are amazing - thank you so much - for looking after Ella, and for looking after me. I hate the feeling I'm neglecting her but I don't feel that way when I leave her with you."  
  
"You would never neglect her Lizzie, you're an amazing mother, I wish mine had been so devoted."  
  
"That can't be good."  
  
Robert smiled and leaned against the doorpost outside the guest room. "She was… busy." He chose his words carefully, "She just wanted the best for us, but she wasn't there much."  
  
"Sounds just like me."  
  
"As I've said before, you have an amazing capacity to give. Mum spent her spare time ensuring we always had a… father figure - all seven of them. She had an amazing capacity to take."  
  
"Seven?" Elizabeth didn't hide her shock. She didn't need to - she was so comfortable with him.  
  
Robert nodded, "Either she was easy to please or she was irresistible. Or both."  
  
"Was?"  
  
"Yeah, she died when I was nineteen. So it was just Jo and me after that - that's my sister. Sorry, I'm talking non-stop. You should sleep. And anticipate the breakfast I'm making you tomorrow."  
  
"I don't mind - I like listening to you. I don't really know that much about you so… it's nice. I mean, it's interesting - so much I don't know even though I've known you so long."  
  
"Yeah, but it's not that important this late at night."  
  
"It makes up part of who you are - and that's important - doesn't matter what time of the night." She said honestly. Robert looked at her imploringly, surprised at how much she cared for him. She just smiled. "Don't look so shocked." She teased. He smiled softly watching her tease him. His eyes wandered to her lips but he chastely looked back to her eyes,  
  
"Goodnight." He started to turn away but she took his hand,  
  
"Goodnight. And thank you." She smiled and kissed him.   
  
"Lizzie," he mumbled breathlessly  
  
"Yeah," she replied, her voice at much the same tone  
  
"I should go - you need your…sleep."  
  
"Okay." She tore her lips from his. "Goodnight - for real."  
  
Robert smiled at her; still breathless, and turned away, walking down the hall to his room. Why the hell are you walking away? Part of him was screaming. The rest of his being was trying to control his heartbeat, breathing and general mental state. He'd sleep well - probably with a ridiculous child-like grin smeared across his face with traces of Lizzie's lipstick. Ah well, worse things had happened. He was still awe struck - she was going to sleep now - in his house, less than ten meters from him. Any closer and he'd probably have a heart attack in his sleep.  
  
Elizabeth watched him walk away, surprised he hadn't stayed, disappointed even. If he had stayed he would have stayed all night - that she was sure of. But maybe it was best he didn't - there was still so much they didn't know of each other. She loved him but they had plenty of time and when they did sleep together it should be perfect - no rush. She closed her door and removed one layer of clothing before climbing in between the cool sheets. She imagined Robert going through his bedtime routine but her own yawning and increasingly-heavy-head meant she was asleep before her imaginings even got Robert in bed. 


	9. chapter 9 to tired to think of better t...

More mush… yay! Was going to be nice to you all and make it longer and gooier but I'm tired cause I got up at 5:30 am on Saturday - to deliver phone books no less… raised heaps of funds for youth group, but am still recovering from lack of sleep. Is this whole talking, confiding, encouraging, kissing, adoring, more kissing, crying, despairing, encouraging, confiding, confessing, more kissing and a couple of hugs… routine getting boring? Don't worry, I'll put some drama in the next ones. Dr Dorset is still at work and Robert is still insecure. Plus, it'd be fun to have some good ol' Kerry vs Robert fights, some snide nurses' gossip and it'd be even better if I'd shut up and let you read the damn story…  
  
Disclaimer: you know the drill  
  
***  
  
Elizabeth woke to Ella squirming and whining "Mama" from the cot only meters away from her bed. But Elizabeth didn't mind. She flipped her legs out of the bed,  
  
"Good morning sweetie." She said and lifted Ella out of the cot. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Home?" Ella said, confused by her surroundings  
  
"No, Robert is looking after you again. Is that okay?"  
  
Ella nodded enthusiastically and wriggled out of Elizabeth arms. Elizabeth put her down and quickly dressed as Ella raced toward the door. Elizabeth opened the door and followed Ella towards the kitchen. The door was closed so she picked up Ella and opened it silently. Robert was standing over the stove, stretching his neck and shoulder repeatedly. The aroma of whatever he was making hit her senses immediately - as did the desire to ease the pain he was obviously trying to relieve.  
  
"You okay?" she said, ignoring her rumbling stomach.  
  
"Wobut!" Ella yelled, reaching out toward him. He was facing them now. Elizabeth put Ella down and followed the excitable toddler across the kitchen till she was only inches away.  
  
"Yeah, you hungry?"  
  
"Starving - you in pain?"  
  
"Oh it's nothing - just a bit stiff…" He stepped away from her as he picked up Ella.  
  
"She won't help much, but I might be able to." Elizabeth took Ella and sat her on the bench then turned back to Robert. Tentatively she began to rub the muscles in his shoulder and what remained of his upper arm, moving up to his neck. The warmth of his skin through the thin shirt he was wearing made her fingertips tingle.  
  
"Mama…" Ella was playing with/eating a bagel and, being used to Elizabeth's full attention, she was disappointed to find her mother was quite pleasantly entertained without Ella.   
  
Elizabeth tore her eyes and hands from where she was quite happy to leave them for significantly longer. "Yeah?" she took the bagel from her daughter "what do you want on this honey?"  
  
"Jam. Jam!" Ella said decidedly and wriggled towards the edge of the bench.  
  
"I got her." Robert said and picked up the toddler - leaving Elizabeth free to make Ella's breakfast.  
  
"Here you go." Elizabeth handed Ella the jam covered bagel and then took the toddler off Robert and sat her back on the bench. "So, what are we having?"  
  
"A gourmet selection of…" he paused for dramatic effect, "you'll have to wait and see."  
  
"Okay," Elizabeth smiled at his teasing and picked Ella up. "I should get her changed. And I'm in need of a bit of straightening up too." She looked down at her wrinkled, slept-in shirt.  
  
Robert laughed at her, "You look lovely, I wish that was the first face I saw everyday. Just one more thing - come here…" he turned back to the stove and put down the spoon he held then turned back to Elizabeth. As soon as she reached him he boldly took her face in his hand and kissed her passionately. She was half expecting it but found herself breathless nonetheless. He pulled back after a very brief, though deep, kiss, leaving the woman in front of him wanting more.  
  
"Oh, no, you can't get away with that." She took his face in the one hand that wasn't holding Ella against her hip and returned the favour - but she didn't pull away so quickly… and they probably would have kissed a lot longer except that Ella giggled/squealed delightfully and clapped her hands. They broke apart laughing and Elizabeth walked out of the kitchen wordlessly - nothing needed to be said - kissing was very effective communication. Robert turned back to the breakfast he was preparing - a silly grin on his lips. He put the spoon down again and lifted his fingers to his lips. He was still amazed - she was in his house! She had slept there - her daughter was staying everyday for the next few days - he'd see Elizabeth everyday and she didn't mind either - in fact she seemed quite happy about it. She trusted him to look after her daughter - the most important thing in her life she would leave with a one-armed man who, until recently, she rightfully held in contempt. I don't deserve this, he mused, I don't deserve her. But if I did then it couldn't feel like this - it couldn't be this heart racing, mind blowing, exhilarating… oh, crap I'm burning the sauce!  
  
He took it off the burner and flicked off the gas. Then he checked the smoked salmon filets - they were almost done - he sliced two fresh wholemeal bagels and put them in the oven to grill. Minute later everything was ready.   
  
"Lizzie." He called, standing in the doorway and looking up at the balcony upstairs. He smiled, thinking to himself that this was just like a scene out of Romeo and Juliet - only Romeo hadn't just made Juliet a surprise breakfast, neither Robert nor Elizabeth were fourteen, and Juliet didn't appear right beside him and jab him in the ribs breaking him from his musings.  
  
"I was just setting up Ella - she's watching a video in the lounge. So we can have breakfast in peace."  
  
Robert lifted his eyebrows mischievously. Elizabeth just laughed at him and pushed him into the kitchen.  
  
"Wow." She surveyed the food spread out on the bench. "I'm going to put on weight at this rate."  
  
"Excuses, excuses." Robert pulled out a stool for her to sit on, "My lady," he bowed gallantly.  
  
"Good sir," she played along and sat down but before he had a chance to get away she put her hand behind his neck and pulled him down into a sultry kiss. When he reacted by kissing her back with equal fervour she found the kiss lasted longer than she had intended… until her stomach audibly rumbled.  
  
"That's one way to kill the mood." He said sarcastically, sitting in the stool beside her, ensuring his knees were touching hers. He squeezed her hand and then relinquished his hold so he could eat - regretting that he couldn't do both at once.  
  
"This is great Robert - the best morning I've had in a long time - not to mention the breakfast." She took a bite of the toasted bagel laden with smoked salmon, cream cheese, lettuce and an amazing sauce whose flavour was so illusive and delicate that she couldn't get enough of it. Kind of like the man beside her. They ate in companionable silence, savouring both the company and the food.  
  
"I wish I didn't have to rush off to work."  
  
"You're not the only one." Robert stood up to put the dishes in the sink. "I'd swap with you if I could."  
  
"I know." She smiled, standing up. "Have you made an appointment to get your prosthetic fitted?"  
  
He shook his head. "I suppose I should give them a call today. I got two messages from the physio yesterday - they must have called when Ella and I were out."  
  
"What did they want?"  
  
"Me - to visit - to go to a proper physio - but I must admit, I quite enjoy your massages"  
  
"I really don't know what I'm doing - the physio would do a better job. Why don't you come in at 5 - I finish then, so Ella and I could go with you - moral support?"  
  
Robert thought about it for a moment. "Sounds like a plan."  
  
"Don't look so scared - not everyone in that hospital are total numb-skulls."  
  
"But the odds are not in my favour."  
  
"I'll book it in for you - who do you want?"  
  
"You." He held her eye contact with a way-past-suggestive look.  
  
"I mean for the physio." She held his eyes contact and smiled.  
  
"Just the same as before - don't want to have to explain anything or everything to some ignorant newbie." The suggestive look was gone.  
  
"I'd better get my things and get going." She turned and left the children, disappearing up stairs. Robert went through to the hallway and yelled up the stairwell  
  
"Maybe you shouldn't come - physios don't bring out the best in me."  
  
"I know what I'm getting into" she yelled in reply, "the first time I saw you when I came back from England you were finishing physio - calling the poor woman all sorts of colourful adjectives." Elizabeth teased and then appeared at the top of the stairs, her shoes on and a bag slung over her shoulder. He didn't want her to leave - ever. But he smiled anyway.   
  
"Elizabeth," he started as she descended the stairs. He was so comfortable with her - he surprised himself at how honest and vulnerable he was prepared to be, and that it didn't seem unnatural, in fact it fit into place perfectly. "Do you have any idea how much of my happiness you hold in your hot little hand?"   
  
She reached the bottom of the stairs and stopped - the few feet between them seemed a lot further since they were becoming accustomed to stand much, much closer.  
  
"I'll be careful." She said and smiled delicately, taking one step closer. "On one condition - make that two."  
  
"What?" he asked, taking a step closer.  
  
"Always tell me what you think and trust me enough - like you did just now - even if it's scary." She stepped in.  
  
"And…" He stepped in.  
  
"And be careful with me." She stood still - her vulnerability evident in her eyes.  
  
He closed the gap between them and hugged her. "I have to go." She said and reluctantly pulled back. She had tears running down her cheeks. Robert wiped them away with his fingertips then kissed her softly.  
  
"Good bye Ella." Elizabeth said from the lounge doorway.  
  
"Bye, bye mama." Ella waved, turning back to the TV immediately.  
  
"Well, she's happy."  
  
Robert smiled and opened the front door. "So, I'll bring Ella to the hospital at 5 - is that all right?"  
  
"Yeah - sounds good to me." She took his hand and squeezed it encouragingly.  
  
"Thanks. You make this much easier."  
  
"Just say the word - I haven't been here before so I don't really know how to help."  
  
"Neither - but you help more than you can know. You better go - you won't need me to baby-sit if they fire you."  
  
"But at least then I could spend more time with the baby-sitter." She kissed him mischievously. He responded with an honest, vulnerable kiss that left her heart racing long after she was out of sight (but not out of mind). 


	10. Dads, snark and Sleepovers

Okay, here's some more, bit of fun stuff. Lots of mush. Next time I promise DRAMA. And I might even manufacture a cliff-hanger… [enter evil laugh here]  
  
Disclaimer, I only own Jessica Stanley, the anonymous nurses and Dr Scott. The rest is borrowed.  
  
Elizabeth sat down in her chair. Not long until she was finished her shift now - she found herself anticipating seeing Robert, touching Robert, making him smile, watching him make Ella smile… her mind wandered but she pulled it back to the present. To be specific, to the pile of mail on her desk. She flicked through it - just the usual, all with printed envelopes. At the bottom of the pile there was one hand-addressed - and it only had her name, no address. Curiously she ripped it open and pulled out a simple card. It was nothing stunning artistically but the message inside brought Elizabeth to tears:  
  
"Dr Corday,   
  
Thank you for you efforts yesterday. Belle was our precious little girl, there is no question that she deserved to live a full and wonderful life and I guess the popular question now is 'why?' I suppose God has some lesson of eternal significance for us to learn from this but I wish we could learn it some other way. Please be encouraged, you do an amazing job and we know that you couldn't have saved Belle. She must have been one of God's favourites too - 'let the little children come to me for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these'  
  
Yours,   
  
Jessica Stanley"  
  
Elizabeth put the card down on her desk and took a deep breath. She stood up, walked to her office door then turned around and went back to her desk. She read the card again, her mind buzzing with confusion, anger, questions - this woman had lost her daughter, why the hell was she reaching out to comfort the doctor who couldn't save her?  
  
Trying to block it from her mind she worked systematically through the rest of her mail - sorting it without really thinking.  
  
Robert's arm was aching, Ella was getting heavy - and she was squirming.   
  
"Okay, okay." He put her down as he paid for the smoothies they had just consumed.  
  
"Mama…" Ella looked up at him expectantly   
  
"No, that's 'da-da'" the waitress looked down at the little girl and made a fool of herself (as adults are required to do when there's a cute kid around)  
  
"Come on Ella, we're going to see mama now." Robert took Ella's hand, visibly ignoring the waitress. But he couldn't help notice how appealing he found the idea of being Ella's father. No! that's ridiculous - Mark couldn't stand you, and though Elizabeth evidently doesn't feel quite the same way, bringing up the man's child would be too much to ask. Robert and Ella went in the visitor's entrance, past the gift shop and café, to the elevators. Ella tugged on his trouser leg and he bent to pick her up just as the doors opened. He stood up, holding Ella in his arm and stepped into the Elevator - boldly staring into the face of Kerry.  
  
"Are you back or just kidnapping?" she asked, her smile showing how proud she was of her snarkiness [would ya believe that 'snarkiness' ain't a word? My spell check is protesting.]  
  
"It's a good thing we never made a habit of shaking hands." He said, his good mood allowing him to bite back the cruel replies buzzing through his head - and because Ella was there.  
  
"You seem to be quite the natural, I assume this is Elizabeth's daughter."  
  
"Sure is." Robert smiled at Ella.  
  
"We're visiting mama." Ella added.  
  
"Well, she'll be glad to see you." Kerry said to Ella. "Good to see you're keeping busy Robert - can't imagine you'd keep well in front of daytime television. And you're making some pocket money while you're at it."  
  
"No, I'm a non-profit organization." He said, ending the conversation as the elevator dinged. He stepped off and strode down the hallway, soon realizing that Kerry had followed him.  
  
"So, when will you be coming back to work?"  
  
"Don't know." Robert tried to hide his sigh and stopped outside Elizabeth's office. Without going in he turned to face Kerry, "Is there something I can help you here, cause in case it's not obvious, I'm not here on business. I'll make that call when I've regained insanity - or when I start to miss you - whichever comes first."  
  
"I've missed you too Robert." Kerry turned and walked away, yelling back, "Tell Elizabeth I need to see her tomorrow first thing."  
  
"Like hell I will," Robert muttered.  
  
"Grumpy?" Ella poked his cheek.  
  
"Your mom will cheer me up, works every time." He knocked on the door.  
  
"Come in." Elizabeth said from inside. Robert opened the door and put Ella down to run to her mother. "Hey." Elizabeth grinned, picked up Ella in an embrace and crossed the room to Robert, hugging him too. "How's your day been?"  
  
"Not bad, just the usual." He smiled, "and a charming encounter with Kerry."  
  
"She's still your favourite huh?"  
  
"No, you're my favourite." He kissed her lightly.  
  
"We saw ducks!" Ella added to Robert's description of their day, bringing their attention back to her.  
  
"Really?" Elizabeth replied, "what else?"  
  
"Doctors."  
  
"You played doctors again?"  
  
"Yes. She's following in your footsteps." Robert grinned mischievously.  
  
"I don't know if I should encourage that." Elizabeth let her eyes linger on his. "So, we should get going - your appointment is in ten minutes."  
  
"Okay." He nodded, taking Ella so Elizabeth could get her bag. "How was your day?"  
  
"Oh, you know, just the usual." She lied, still trying to forget the card she'd received. He could tell she was holding something back,  
  
"I'll make you tell me the truth later." He whispered as she locked her office. She gave him half a smile, grateful that he left it at that, but not sure if she wanted to bring it up again later.  
  
"You nervous?" she changed the subject back to his appointment.  
  
"Um," he thought for a moment, "I really haven't thought about it, but yeah, just a little."  
  
Elizabeth slipped her hand around his waist in reply, giving him an encouraging squeeze.  
  
The physio Elizabeth had booked had gone home sick two hours earlier so Robert was left with the intern he specifically asked not to have.  
  
"We can rebook if you like." Elizabeth suggested, knowing Robert's reservations.  
  
"No, it'll be fine." he said cooly.  
  
"Excellent, Dr Scott is in 887, do you know where to go?"  
  
"Yeah, no problem." Robert said and the three walked down the hall to the physio's room.  
  
"Hi, I'm Dr Scott," a young Hispanic man stood from his chair and walked to the door to greet Robert. He held out his hand but Robert was still holding Ella and just looked at the poor student quizzically.  
  
"I'll take her." Elizabeth said and slid Ella from Robert's shoulder.  
  
"Sorry," the Doctor said quickly, "why don't you take a seat." He gestured to two empty chairs and then sat on his own. Robert and Elizabeth sat down.  
  
"Now, I've read your case, but as you haven't been into the hospital for treatment since you were released could you catch me up on how you're healing - any pain, tightness, tenderness?"  
  
Robert quickly summarized the last few days.  
  
"And you haven't been fitted for a prosthetic yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
Ella whimpered, craving attention.  
  
"Oh, um, she usually has dinner around this time." Elizabeth explained  
  
"You can go Lizzie, can't keep Ella waiting, trust me, I've tried." He stood up and kissed Ella and Elizabeth on their respective cheeks before they left in search of dinner. [Barbequed Kerry?]  
  
"Your daughter is beautiful." Dr Scott said as Robert sat down again.  
  
"Her mother's not bad either - but Ella's not mine."  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
"It's okay, the mistake's been made before."  
  
The Doctor went on to ask about his shoulder. He then got Robert to take off his shirt and try some stretches.  
  
"So how long have you two been married?"  
  
"Oh, we're not. I'm just looking after Ella this week cause the babysitter is away. And Elizabeth works here - Dr Corday?" he said, waiting for recognition."  
  
"Sorry, don't know her - I've only been here a week."  
  
Half an hour later Robert had his shirt on and a pile of literature about prosthetics in his hand. Dr Scott had booked an appointment for a prosthetic fitting and Robert stood to leave.  
  
"Thanks." He said a little awkwardly.  
  
"No problem. The nurse warned me you'd be shooting sarcasm and four-letter words at me so, what can I say? I was pleasantly surprised."  
  
"Well, I'll try not to disappoint you next time."  
  
Dr Scott laughed, "I'll see you next week."  
  
"Okay." Robert walked out and down the hall to reception.  
  
"How much do I owe you?" he asked the nurse, trying not to let his relief show - the appointment was over and despite the intern he'd got for a doctor it had been no more painful than expected. And the fact he'd been mistaken for Ella's father twice in one day… he just hoped no one could see his glow. He handed the nurse some cash as Elizabeth walked up.  
  
"All done eh?"   
  
"Yep." He turned to her. "How was dinner?"  
  
"Yummy." Ella replied, with enthusiasm.   
  
"Smelt good." Elizabeth added.  
  
"You not hungry?" Robert asked her, taking his change from the nurse.  
  
"Starving, but I think I'd prefer leftovers in front of the tv with you." She said cheekily, ignoring the nurse's surprise. "So, how'd it go?"  
  
"Good" he replied mechanically, meanwhile he was wondering if he should tell her he'd been mistaken as Ella's father. Would it bring up all sorts of Mark-stuff? Or was it a given, considering they'd been acting all happy-family-like ever since he'd walked into the hospital an hour ago.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts." Elizabeth said as they stepped into the elevator.  
  
"I was just thinking about something the physio said. It's nothing."  
  
She smiled at him, knowing there was something there, but planning to let him tell her when he wanted to.  
  
"I guess someone has to have a thing for bald men." The nurse said to the woman behind her as the happy couple walked away.  
  
"Well, she's seems to have a good effect on him - I just hope it lasts cause I can't imagine having a limb amputated will improve his attitude otherwise."  
  
"I'm not sure it could be much worse but at least he won't have anything to do with us - even if he does come back he's only chief of the ER."  
  
"Oh, good."  
  
"What's happening ladies?" Dr Scott asked - he'd overheard the end of their conversation but didn't know who they were talking about.  
  
"Nothing." One of them replied  
  
The other asked, "How'd it go - I don't see any physical signs of abuse."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about - he was as placid as ever - the only time he showed any strength of feeling, positive or negative, was when the little girl was upset."  
  
"What little girl?" one of the nurses asked.  
  
"Dr Corday's" the other answered.  
  
"Who's the father?" asked Dr Scott.  
  
The nurses looked at one another as if to say 'you tell him… no you…'  
  
"Dr Green, Corday's husband, he died about a year ago of a brain tumor."  
  
Scott looked appropriately shocked. "How long has she been with Romano?"   
  
"Not long. Apparently it all started when she visited him after he'd had his arm amputated and things progressed from there."  
  
"But that was just a week or two ago."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"No, it must have been going on longer than that." Scott insisted and the nurses scrambled to describe in detail all the gossip surrounding Robert and Lizzie.  
  
Elizabeth tucked Ella into her bed, as the child stubbornly demanded a story. And when Elizabeth refused for the fourth time Ella screamed,  
  
"Wobut!"  
  
Despite the fact that Robert was on the phone, ordering Chinese food, he managed to appear at her bedside in a time Superman would struggle to top (no disrespect to Chris Reeves or Dean Cain - I'm a big fan).  
  
"Hey." He said, catching his breath. Elizabeth smiled at him amused.  
  
"Story." Ella explained simply.  
  
"Oh," Robert nodded, "fair enough. What'll it be?"  
  
"Kermit." Ella said as though it were obvious and while Robert seemed to understand, Lizzie was very confused.  
  
"We don't have any books of Kermit." She said softly to Robert.  
  
"Who needs books, she can't read, I can't be bothered," the door bell rang, "and you have to go answer the door."  
  
Elizabeth shook her head, laughing at him, and went to the door. She put the food on the table and returned to find Robert sitting on the floor cross-legged (=Indian style, but I'm a New Zealander, that's right, a true blue kiwi, and we're American enough… I digress) so his face was level with Ella's.  
  
"I'm sorry miss piggy, I didn't mean to cut off your hair, Kermit said. Haaa Ya! Piggy stood up and hit him across the head with her book."  
  
Elizabeth cracked up. Both Ella and Robert turned to her with animated faces. "Sorry." She said, sitting beside Robert.  
  
"It's okay, to be continued… Time to sleep Ella." He kissed her on the fore head and stood to let Elizabeth say good night. She followed him out of Ella's room, half-closing the door.  
  
"Thank you." Elizabeth said, putting her hand on his back as they entered the living room. He turned to her smiling.  
  
"She's amazing. You both mean so much to me."  
  
"Good, it's mutual." Elizabeth hugged him and they stood there quite content in the silence. Everything fit. Then Robert's stomach growled.   
  
"Sorry." He said, letting her go reluctantly.  
  
She just laughed, "Better not let the food go cold."  
  
She took his box off the dining room table then took hers and sat down on the sofa, inviting him to join her. He did so, opening the box and eating with one hand, making it look very easy. Elizabeth watched him.  
  
"You not hungry?" he asked when he realised.  
  
"Oh, sorry." She opened her dinner. "I'm just tired - not quite up to moving my eyes, though I'd be quite happy to watch you even if my eyes weren't about to fall shut."  
  
  
  
They soon finished dinner, both having been hungrier than they'd realised, and sinking into Lizzie's couch with their feet resting on the coffee table, they talked about nothing and everything. When the Ella woke the next morning she plodded down the stairs, expecting to see Mom in the kitchen with a mug of coffee. Instead, Mom was lying on the couch, leaning on Robert - and they were both sound asleep. (Aw…)  
  
Ella giggled, crawling on top of her mom. Elizabeth woke, "Hello." She smiled, then realised where she was and sat up.  
  
Robert stirred when she moved and rubbed his eyes.  
  
"Wobut." Ella giggled, properly waking him. He smiled when he realised where he was. Ella crawled across the couch to him.  
  
"Coffee?" Elizabeth asked, standing up.  
  
"Yes please. How much sleep did we get?"  
  
"Not enough." She laughed coming back into the lounge after turning the electric jug on.  
  
"You working today?"  
  
"Nope, I'm all yours." She plopped down beside him. Ella got bored of them and toddled off to watch TV. They both watched her go.  
  
"You're so good with her." Elizabeth looked at him.  
  
Robert smiled and took her hand, "I'm hopeless - she's almost as beautiful as her mother and I can't say no."  
  
Elizabeth leaned in to kiss him as the jug finished boiling. "Be right back." She got up and disappeared into the kitchen. Robert lay back on the couch and stretched - I slept here? He couldn't believe it… And yet it seamed to be the most natural thing in the world. Where else should he be? Alone at home? Or here, where he was somehow so welcome. Ella giggled/squealed from the next room. Robert got up to follow the noise. When he sat cross-legged beside her she climbed into his lap and kept watching animaniacs (we are crazy to the max… lol). Elizabeth brought through two mugs of coffee and, sitting beside him, handed him his mug.  
  
"Thanks." He took a sip.  
  
She smiled. This was good - not the coffee, I mean the coffee was fine - but what was really good was everything else. 


	11. mwa ha ha

You're all going to hate me… mwa ha ha [evil laugh].  
  
Robert heard Elizabeth's car pull up his drive and ran down his stairs, opening the front door in a sweep. Elizabeth stepped out of the car,  
  
"Hey you." She said and yawned. Robert had made his way down his front steps to her.  
  
"Take the day off." He opened the passenger door and lifted Ella from her seat.  
  
"I wouldn't be so tired if you didn't insist on talking until ungodly hours at night. Some of us have places to be before midday." She yawned again. "Anyway, if you were chief of staff you wouldn't let me just take the day off. It wasn't that long ago, I remember."  
  
"How long till you forget?" he asked, kissing her cheekily.  
  
"I'm trying." She ducked back into the car. "I'd better go."  
  
"Okay, but one won't do." He leaned in through the open window to kiss her again. She kissed him back with a fervour that would always surprise him.  
  
"Don't drop my daughter." She teased pulling away. "I should be finished by 3. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Chris is back - I hope this is okay, I told her to pick Ella up from here at 2 so we can…"  
  
"I'll pick you up at three." He grinned.  
  
"Okay. See you then." She smiled at him and drove away.  
  
"Can you clean up?" Elizabeth asked one of the nurses as she backed through the double doors to scrub out. Dorsett followed her. I don't want to talk to him, she thought, in fact I need to go or Robert will be waiting and knowing his luck he'll bump into Kerry or Anspaugh or… she tried to think of someone worse.  
  
"So, Lizzie, how you been?" Dorsett asked, using the name she could only take from Robert. It was an unspoken rule but she almost spoke it then. She had no patience for this man.  
  
"Fine thanks. Yourself?" she kept her eyes on her hands, scrubbing hurriedly.   
  
"Not so bad. So, I was wondering when you'd change your mind and let me take you out."  
  
"Slow learner huh?"  
  
"No, I like a challenge."  
  
"Oh," she turned to him undaunted by his arrogance, hell, after Robert… she could handle it.  
  
"Are the rumours true?" he asked when he realised he wasn't getting very far.  
  
"Well, as rumours go, I'd say probably not, let me guess - the wedding is next Saturday."  
  
"Slow down Liz - one thing at a time, I'll bed you then I'll wed you." He kissed her and waited a moment for her to respond. When she tried to pull away he just forced the kiss. The more she struggled the more he pushed himself against her.  
  
Robert changed his wrinkled shirt for a clean one, leaving it open at the collar. After the fiasco trying to do the buttons he no longer bothered with a tie. Ella had gone, leaving his house too quiet. He needed them there. Was it too soon to ask? Of course it was, you haven't even slept together yet, she's hardly going to want to move in. He looked in the mirror and picked up his wallet and keys on his way out. Contentedly he strolled down to the el station. The train wasn't far away but his anticipation to see her, to be alone with her, made any wait an awful trial on his patience. Nonetheless, before long he stepped into the hospital, and avoiding staff, made his way to surgery.  
  
"Where's Corday?" he asked a nurse.  
  
"Just scrubbing out of 4 I think." She replied. He kept walking - 4 was at the end of the corridor on the right. He turned the corner and immediately a couple that had been kissing, amongst other things and unfortunately had found the door instead of a wall to lean against and… Lizzie? What? She saw him as she struggled to stand. He turned and fled, letting the Elevator doors close as she yelled his name.  
  
"Oh, so the rumours are true." Dorset said, putting his hands on her shoulders, "what a shame, you could do so much better."  
  
That was it; she slapped him. "Go to hell Eddie." She pushed through to the fire exit and ran down the stairs, desperately trying to reach the ground floor before Robert did. But, Murphy's Law, she tripped, knocking her head ungraciously on the concrete wall. The world spun as she tried to get up and keep running but she knew it would only get worse and she'd never catch him now. These lifts were made for emergencies. She went through the next doors and pressed the lift button. Her head was protesting an emergency. A nurse scrambled to her and made her lie down, fussing ridiculously.  
  
"I just want to go home." She protested weakly obeying.  
  
Robert opened his front door and slammed is shut after him. He couldn't believe it. What the hell had he been thinking? He hadn't been thinking - that was it. Dorsett had two arms and hair, amongst other things. He had nothing to offer her - well, except himself and obviously that wasn't enough because he had offered her everything. Was she really in so desperate need of a babysitter? No, he knew that wasn't all he was. But what the hell was he if she could…? Maybe she just didn't know what she wanted, maybe it was a heat of the moment thing - but she hadn't even had a 'heat of the moment' thing with him… these thoughts aren't helping anything. He headed to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. It stung the back of his throat but he ignored it and poured another one.  
  
Elizabeth climbed into bed and held a lukewarm icepack to her forehead.  
  
"Oh shit." She said aloud, surprising herself with the sound of her voice in the silent house. She threw the icepack onto the floor and pulled the covers over her trying to disappear from worry into sleep.  
  
Chris picked Ella up at noon the next day so Elizabeth fussed around the house, tidying and doing small tasks that never seemed to get done until she had to leave for work at 2. Safe in her office she mulled over an ever-increasing pile of paperwork. She couldn't stop thinking that she should call Robert. But she didn't want to explain over the phone - she had a feeling he wouldn't let her. She wanted to see him. She actually missed him. She rubbed her head and stretched her neck and signed the bottom of a form. Someone knocked at the door.  
  
"Come in," she said automatically.  
  
"Elizabeth, did Robert tell you that I needed to see you yesterday?" Kerry asked, letting herself in.  
  
"No, he didn't. What can I do for you?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking Robert might be away for a while and, well I know the ER better than anyone, but I have enough on my hands, so would you consider taking chief of surgery - just temporarily, until Roberts back, and then we'll see what happens after that." She said all to quickly.  
  
"Um, I'll have to think about it. And I doubt Robert will be able to stay away much longer - he's addicted to this place."  
  
"Yeah, I noticed he'd been in here a lot recently." Kerry suggested, obviously begging for gossip  
  
"Uhuh." Elizabeth nodded, looking back to her desk, with no idea what she was looking at but hoping Kerry would take the hint and leave.  
  
"Well, I hope you two are very happy." She said in that annoyingly charitable voice that's begging to be thanked.  
  
"Is there anything else?" Elizabeth looked up at her.  
  
"No, but I need to know if you'll take surgery soon."  
  
"Sure." Elizabeth looked back down at her work waiting for Kerry to leave. She took the hint and walked out. Once the door was closed Elizabeth looked up and leaned back on her chair, blinking back the tears. She rubbed her head again and found her eyes constantly drifting to the phone. Just call him. Just check he's okay. See if he's home. Take the day sick - you shouldn't be here anyway, minor concussion and all. You need to talk to him.   
  
"I'll just finish my paperwork and then I'll call him. If he's home then I'll go see him." - but if you stay here and you get paged I'll be late tonight before you can see him, and everything is worse at night. And it's not as if you can really concentrate on any of this anyway.  
  
"Okay." She picked up the phone and dialled wondering if the pain in her head was really from the concussion or just from her panicky mental arguments.  
  
"Yeah?" Robert answered the phone.  
  
"Hi." She said, unsure what else to say. "Um, are you okay?"  
  
"Yup," he said, it sounded like he was going to say something else but he didn't.  
  
"Okay. Can I see you?"  
  
"Probably not the best idea Elizabeth." He said coldly.  
  
"Oh. Will you just listen to me then?"  
  
She could hear him breath in and out. He didn't say anything.  
  
"Please." She said, her voice almost breaking.  
  
"Okay." He said softly. She hardly heard him.  
  
"I was trying to push him away, I swear it."  
  
He hung up. He couldn't take it. He wanted to believe her. But he was scared that if he did and she was lying then - he didn't even want to think about it. He rested his head on the cool leather armrest of his sofa. He wanted to sleep - to escape awful reality.  
  
Elizabeth slammed the phone down and picking her bag up left her office.  
  
"I need to go home." She told the receptionist, who assumed she still wasn't well,  
  
"Okay, see you tomorrow Corday."  
  
Elizabeth escaped the hospital and caught a cab to Robert's. Her head was thumping as hard and fast as her heart when she stood outside his door. She hadn't knocked. Her whole body felt to heavy to move.  
  
Robert had heard the taxi come and go. He knew she was there. Somehow he just knew. He was waiting for the knock at the door but it didn't come. Curious he went and opened it. Elizabeth looked surprised when she looked at him, then let her eyes drop to the doorstep. She rubbed her head, obviously in pain. She's not the only one, he thought.  
  
"Come in." he said coldly and stepped backward. She stepped inside wanting him to take her in his arms and understand everything. She didn't want to have to explain. She really didn't have the energy and her head was throbbing so loud that it invaded all her senses.  
  
"Look, Elizabeth, lets get this over with. Thanks for all your help these past couple of weeks. I'm sorry I assumed… yeah. You don't need to explain anything to me." 


	12. should i stay? should i go?

Sorry this took so long - four essays and a test in two weeks - it's just cruel, not my fault though. Anyway, here's the second to last chapter. So enjoy it while it lasts. It's an awful lot of mush. In fact it's ALL mush. But worse things have happened. And lots of Frank Sinatra, so if you're not a fan you're gonna be by the time I've finished with you. That's right, download a mp3 search engine and listen to them all - it's all about atmosphere. Yeah, I'm a bit young to actually know Sinatra but thanks to Robbie Williams I've been educated. (I know he's not big in the US but I'm not sure why…?) Anyway, slightly off topic. You probably skipped all this in anticipation of a conclusion to my cliffhanger. That was mean. But fun. And lots of reviews - always good.   
  
Here we go…  
  
"Look, Elizabeth, lets get this over with. Thanks for all your help these past couple of weeks. I'm sorry I assumed… yeah. You don't need to explain anything to me."   
  
"Shut up Robert. What you saw was not me - I mean, Dorsett wasn't taking no for an answer and…"  
  
"You obliged?"  
  
"No, I was trying to get away." She pleaded.  
  
Robert rolled his eyes. "Okay." He shrugged, obviously not believing her.  
  
"What can I say? He's been at me for weeks and I guess he ran out of patience. It's a good thing I found the door cause he's surprisingly strong for someone so scrawny." She had given up trying not to show her anger.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked, his concern for her beating his pride.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine, he didn't - well, almost, but he didn't - look, the point is - I stuck with you - through quite a bit - don't you have any faith in me?"  
  
Robert swallowed as she continued.  
  
"Cause I want to give this a chance - you and me - I think it could work, but not like this."  
  
"I'm sorry," he searched her face for any sign of forgiveness. "Please," he put his hand on her shoulder, "You're too good for me. I've always known that - so I find it hard to believe that you'd give me a second glance."  
  
"It was close Robert, I only just got away - if you'd just stayed."  
  
He looked at her knowing there was nothing else he could say.  
  
"Sometimes you have to fight for the things you really want…"  
  
"I know." Robert stepped away from her, wanting to defend himself. "I've wanted you for years and it's been a fight you were entirely oblivious to. So don't lecture me about fighting for what you want. I've watched you go through several relationships, and each time I saw you pick them over me - it was too easy to believe you would again."  
  
"I'm sorry." She reached out to him afraid he'd step away. He took a quick breath, surprised at her touch, but he didn't move away.  
  
"I put on a brave face Lizzie and I try to not give a damn about you, but whatever happens, I'll be fighting for you forever." He said with what was left of his voice.   
  
She took his face in her hands. "I love you Robert."  
  
That brought his smile, though he'd been at the brink of despair only minutes earlier.  
  
"Lets hope our future fights are more trivial." She smiled back.  
  
"Okay." He replied. She was so close; he simply had no choice but to kiss her. "I love you Elizabeth." He kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back.  
  
He pulled away after a moment, "You're worth the fight."  
  
"I don't know about that," she kissed him cheekily then just looked at him. "But thank you."  
  
"Would it be too embarrassing to go out for dinner with the one-armed-monster?"  
  
She shook her head, with a coy smile.  
  
"Okay, cause I know a place you might like. Maybe… I won't profess to be either a mind reader or a particular pro with women, but I'll try."  
  
"I'm sure it'll be fine." Elizabeth laughed at him. "I'll call Chris and see if she can look after Ella for the night - I mean, just later than I planned." She blushed.  
  
Robert outright laughed at her confusion. He didn't mind at all if Chris needed to look after Ella for the whole night. But he also laughed to hide his own nerves. It wasn't like Elizabeth was another transparent barmaid who ignored him until she found out he was a wealthy doctor. He had no problem taking them to his bed, and they were usually just as willing. Elizabeth had never ignored him, though she may have tried, she'd merely hated him… but now…? He actually cared what impression he made on her. He wasn't so concerned about how good it was for him - he wanted her to want him, to need him, to reach out for him in the middle of the night like she was beginning to do during the day… he didn't want to be with her on a performance basis but that was easier said than done - just relax, stop thinking about it. That was easier said than done as well.  
  
Elizabeth had finished talking to Chris who had willingly obliged her.  
  
"No problemo." Elizabeth returned to him grinning.  
  
"What?" he asked why she was looking so happy.  
  
"Nothing." The grin stayed right where it was. "So, where are we going?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
"That's cruel." She said, still grinning. "Sorry." She put her hand over her grin, but she couldn't stop it.  
  
"Okay smiley, do you feel like walking or sitting - dinner's a while away."  
  
"Walking - I'll put all the smiling energy into something else."  
  
"Oh, I don't mind. I'd gladly wake up every morning to that smile." He said, opening the door, then realised the implication, "sorry."  
  
"It's okay, I don't know why we're so nervous." She walked through the open door and waited for him outside. He didn't reply to her. "I mean, I'm nervous."  
  
"Same." He admitted. "We have a little more baggage between us than most."  
  
"That's probably it. But it is very fairy-tale-ish for love to come before sex." She added, taking his hand. She felt like she was eighteen. This was ridiculous - like a bad TV soap that would compel her to change the channel. Ah well, worse things had happened.  
  
"Well, I'll try and be prince charming but I don't think there's much chance I'll succeed."  
  
"Only when I'm the demure little princess in a pink marshmallow dress and tiara."  
  
"Elizabeth, you will never be demure. The pink marshmallow dress… we'll see. Plus I didn't fall in love with miss-demure. I like that you fight back."  
  
"We would never have spoken if I didn't fight back."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
She laughed. "Until recently."  
  
"Well, recently has been the result of many years of…"  
  
"Verbal warfare, abuse, innuendo, sarcasm, derision…"  
  
"I get the idea." He rolled his eyes.  
  
"Hey, it wasn't just you."  
  
"But it certainly explains why you never picked up that I was crazy about you."  
  
She turned to look at him, gauging his response, "I knew."  
  
"Oh." He turned to her, aware of her eyes on him. He forced out a smile wanting her to think that didn't bother him. She knew it and slipped her arm around his waste as they kept walking. They walked in semi-uncomfortable silence until they got to the park.  
  
"So what are Chris and Ella doing this afternoon?"  
  
Elizabeth shrugged, "No idea."  
  
"Oh, I thought - never mind."  
  
Elizabeth laughed at his confusion, "It's okay. She's been looking after Ella for over a year - they'll be fine. But I don't expect you to know this stuff - it's very menial."  
  
"I never really wanted to be a parent." He relaxed again, "I mean, not because I wouldn't want kids, I mean kids are great, I just don't think I'd do a very good job. I mean it's huge - and what if you mess them up? You're very brave."  
  
"Ella wasn't really planned. Parenting is definitely swimming in the deep end and I guess nobody's perfect."  
  
"That's not what I mean. I guess I'd be terrified they'd resent me. It's hardly something you can go into half-heartedly and it's lives you're dealing with. Don't say it's just like surgery - cause it's day-to-day stuff. Great potential to really mess them up - heck they could turn out like me."  
  
"Your parents didn't to SO badly."  
  
"Yeah they did."  
  
"Robert, don't be ridiculous, you're not that bad underneath all the sarcasm."  
  
"Thank you, but that's not what I meant."  
  
"Oh." Elizabeth waited for him to explain.  
  
"Well," he began, unsure of his words, "Dad was a jerk. Stuck around long enough to make sure Jo and I were well aware of it and then took off. Mum was absent a lot - at least in mind if not in body. So I kind of brought up Jo and me. I guess I didn't do too bad, but…."  
  
"It shouldn't have been your job."  
  
"Exactly - what was so hard that mum and dad couldn't do it?"  
  
"Did your mum ever remarry?"  
  
"A couple of times, but never for long. There was always someone - some guy around. She was real pretty - the guys were usually rich. Jerks - hey maybe that's where I get it from."  
  
Elizabeth stopped walking and grabbed his arm, forcing him to face her. "You're not a jerk."  
  
He cocked his head to the side as if to say, you're the only one who thinks so.  
  
"I mean it. You're an amazing man. I feel like I'm only just getting to know you but I already love you. So does Ella, and she's not that easy to please. If you only let people in - let them see you…"  
  
"Elizabeth, I know I got shit for a family but it's not entirely their fault. I choose to say the things I say, I chose to be a jerk."  
  
Elizabeth knew she couldn't argue with that. "How bad did Jo turn out after all?"  
  
"She's fine - married with a daughter who's heavily into punk but other than that she's okay. The husband has his moments."  
  
"See, you didn't do so bad."  
  
Robert sighed, to tired to argue anymore.  
  
"Maybe your parents were just the ultimate 'what not to do' guide."  
  
He half-laughed.  
  
"You might even be a better parent for it."  
  
"I didn't mean - I mean, I wasn't suggesting we…" he fumbled  
  
"I know. But that's okay, I mean one day, who knows? We might…"  
  
"There's brave and there's stupid - fine line."  
  
"I've never thought you to be stupid and recently I've found you very brave. As long as you can satisfy your Sergent-major-complex at work we'll be fine."  
  
"Well, in that case, we've got work to do… sorry. Too much tension. One day I'll learn to keep my mouth shut."  
  
Elizabeth was busy laughing at him. "I must admit, I can think of better reasons to keep your mouth open than to put your foot in it." She kissed him.  
  
"I'd have to agree." He mumbled before kissing her back.  
  
Eventually they continued their walk, hand-in-hand around the park then back to Robert's house just as the sun was dipping over the horizon.  
  
"I should go home and change before dinner." Elizabeth said as he flicked on his new electric kettle.  
  
"No, you're perfect just as you are." He insisted, getting out tea bags and milk.  
  
"I'm touched, but are you sure, I mean…"  
  
"You look great. Surely you can trust your fan club."  
  
"Huh?" she stepped beside him as he turned to face her.  
  
"Me - your fan club. You look stunning." He kissed her softly, invitingly.  
  
They were interrupted by boiling water. Robert went to pull away,  
  
"You really want tea?" Elizabeth mumbled, not letting him move.  
  
"No," he kissed her again. When they finally separated the water was lukewarm and it was time to go to dinner.  
  
Robert led Elizabeth by the hand up a dark alleyway. She shivered.  
  
"Just relax." He pulled her to his side. "We're almost there."  
  
She let out a nervous laugh and squeezed his hand. She could hear a soft beat, some distant old music and laughter. Then they turned a corner and she could see the glowing outline of a doorway. Robert boldly opened the door and led her down a dimly lit staircase then through another door into a slightly brighter room.  
  
"How lucky can one guy be? I kissed her and she kissed me," a man dressed like blue eyes sang into an old-fashioned microphone on a well-lit stage at the other end of the room. "Like the fella once said, Ain't that a kick in the head? The room was completely black, I hugged her and she hugged back."  
  
Robert nodded to the guy behind the bar and led Elizabeth to a table against the opposite wall. They sat down and he picked up the wine list while Elizabeth looked around. It was one of those places that would have been considered dodgy in the 50s but was classy today. The lights, or lack thereof made everything red. A well-dressed but slightly crumpled waiter came to their table and put a menu in front of each of them. Robert ordered some wine and then his meal without looking at the menu.  
  
"What's the best?" Elizabeth asked.  
  
"Depends what you like. The ravioli is good. Or the spaghetti."  
  
"Spaghetti sounds good." Elizabeth handed her menu to the waiter who walked away wordlessly.  
  
"This is really nice." She smiled across the table.  
  
"I hoped you'd like it."  
  
"Yeah, I love it. The music is perfect. It's almost like the real thing."  
  
"Mum had heaps of Sinatra on vinyl so I grew up on it. Guess it's in my blood."  
  
"Wasn't all bad then?" Elizabeth smiled meekly.  
  
The song ended and he started singing 'the way you look tonight'.  
  
"No, we had our moments. Do you want to dance?"  
  
Elizabeth nodded. She stood up, taking his hand.  
  
"You've gone all quiet Lizzie." He teased as they started dancing. Elizabeth just smiled.  
  
"There is nothing for me but to love you and the way you look tonight."  
  
Robert started singing along, softly so that only Elizabeth could hear him. "With each word your tenderness grows, tearing my fear apart... And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, it touches my foolish heart."  
  
Elizabeth joined in, whispering, and Robert stopped to listen to her. "Lovely ... Never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight" the song finished and he pulled back, smiling at her. 'Night and Day' started as they walked back to their table where their food had arrived.  
  
"This is perfect." Elizabeth said as she sat down.  
  
"I try." He teased, picking up his fork and piling it with ravioli.  
  
Elizabeth twirled spaghetti on her fork. "You know that evening, at the hospital when you came with Ella before your physio appointment?"  
  
He nodded, his mouth full.  
  
"You said it was nothing but I could tell you were thinking about something. What was it?"  
  
Robert thought for a minute as Elizabeth ate.  
  
"Oh. You were distracted that night as well." He said when he remembered his reaction to being mistaken for Ella's father.  
  
"I'll tell if you will." Elizabeth said, sucking a stray piece of spaghetti into her mouth, splattering delicious sauce onto her lips. Robert wanted to lick it off but she beat him to it. How would he explain his distraction…?  
  
"Well, I was thinking about how I'd been mistaken for Ella's father. And I wasn't sure if I should tell you."  
  
"Oh."   
  
"Should I have told you?"  
  
She shrugged, "I wouldn't have been upset. And Ella and I are kind of a package deal. So you have to be comfortable with that…"  
  
"Oh, I was, in fact I was thrilled. I just thought it might bring up all sorts of… mess." He tried to explain.  
  
"You can say his name. You thought it would bring up all sorts of Mark stuff?"  
  
Robert nodded.  
  
"I've moved on. That's the first time I've said it out loud. But I have. I wish there was someway Ella could know him, but I have no regrets for myself."  
  
Robert smiled. "That's good to know. I didn't want to be competing with a ghost."  
  
"You're not."  
  
"So what were you thinking about that night?" he asked boldly.  
  
"You know that little girl that died on my table the day beforehand?" Robert looked at her compassionately, "I got a card from her parents. It was really sweet, but a bit confusing - like they were trying to comfort me. I'll show it to you some time."  
  
"Are you okay now?"  
  
She shrugged and nodded - not very convincingly though. "Guess I haven't really thought about it. But maybe I need to. I manage to go about busily without asking or answering a lot of the questions I need to."  
  
"Questions are terrifying, especially when there aren't answers."  
  
"But maybe there are - not proven answers, but answers. Maybe it's possible to know something is true and not needing proof."  
  
"Like faith?" Robert asked, unsure of his own footing on this subject.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. Catholic school turned me off religion but maybe that's just the pomp and ceremony - the trappings. Maybe the important stuff is there, under all the trappings."  
  
"But can you get at it without getting dragged down by all the trappings?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe I want to find out though."  
  
"Tell me if you do." He searched her eyes.  
  
She smiled, "Good ravioli?"  
  
"Always."  
  
"You come here often I guess."   
  
He nodded.  
  
"Well, maybe I'll join you from now on."  
  
He grinned, "good."  
  
The singer was singing 'Come Fly With Me'. Robert filled up their wine glasses and took a sip of his. He closed his eyes as if he could taste it better, hear the music better, and appreciate the atmosphere better with his eyes closed.  
  
"Once I get you up there where the air is rarefied. We'll just glide, starry-eyed. Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near. You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together."  
  
Their plates were soon empty and they were dancing again.  
  
"It's been so long since I went out." Elizabeth admitted and pulled away so she could look at him, "this is perfect."  
  
Robert grinned. He knew he must look silly, but he didn't really care. He pulled her closer and kissed her. She pulled him in so the kiss lasted longer. When their lips parted she sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
Robert couldn't believe he was there… she was there. It really was just about perfect. "I love you." He whispered. She kissed his shoulder, rubbing his back with her hands as he led her in the dance. The beat changed as the band started playing a new song, "The way you wear your hat, the way you sip your tea, the memory of all that, no, no, they can't take that away from me. The way your smile just beams, the way you sing off key, the way you haunt my dreams, no, no, they can't take that away from me."  
  
Their bodies moved together with the music as if they'd been designed exactly for that song, for that night, for that restaurant. Everything seemed to fit. "The way you hold your knife, the way we dance till three, the way you changed my life, no, no they can't take that away from me. We may never, never meet again, on this bumpy road to love still I'll always, always keep the memory of… the way you hold your knife, the way we dance till three…"  
  
Elizabeth yawned. It had been a long day, full of extreme emotions - both highs and lows unequalled in recent weeks.  
  
"We should go." Robert said and kept dancing.  
  
"We should." She agreed but didn't make a move either.  
  
"Mmm," he agreed, "We could dance at home."  
  
"Okay." She reluctantly lifted her head from his shoulder.  
  
Robert unlocked his front door and held it open for Elizabeth to walk in. He took off his jacket and hung it up then followed her into the lounge. She was nervously looking at his bookcase.  
  
"Look at this." He opened a drawer full of old records.  
  
"Oh, wow." (remember, everyone over 30 has a nostalgic soft spot for vinyl - real music…)  
  
"What'll it be?"  
  
She looked through the top few and pulled out the first of Sinatra she found.  
  
"Keeping with the theme?" he slipped the record out of the case and put it on. "Do you want a drink?" he put the needle on the edge of the record and it started playing, "I've got you under my skin. I've got you deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me."  
  
"Yeah, a drink would be nice." She watched him pour two glasses of wine.  
  
"I'd sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having you near in spite of a warning voice that comes in the night and repeats repeats in my ear."  
  
He handed her a glass, took a sip of his and put it down beside the record player. Wordlessly he held out his hand.  
  
"But each time that I do just the thought of you makes me stop before I begin. I've got you under my skin…" the music continued but time stood still as they stood there, dancing together, barely moving.  
  
A couple of songs later the moved apart.  
  
"I should go." Elizabeth whispered reluctantly.  
  
He nodded and picked up his glass. She picked hers up and held it to his in a toast.  
  
"What are we toasting to?" he asked, disappointed that she was going.  
  
"I don't know… Good music, good wine, good company."  
  
"All of the above."  
  
"You." She smiled.  
  
"I'd kiss you, but I don't want you to leave as it is and I'm not a big fan of self-torture."  
  
"Who'd have guessed." She teased. "I'll call you tomorrow." She said, backing out of the room. He followed her to the front door and held it open while she procrastinated on the doorstep.  
  
"I'm working at two tomorrow, so…" she was stalling, she didn't want to leave but was she ready to stay.  
  
"Stay." 


	13. Stay

Disclaimer - this is the last chapter, if you haven't found me and sued me by now you're not going to so I'll be brave if not stupid and say this story is MINE.  
  
Robert woke slowly, becoming more and more aware of soft warm skin against his own, a comfortable and intimate weight against the side of his body. Fearing he was dreaming he slowly opened his eyes and unintentionally moaned. Her hair tickled his chin as she looked up at him. Her head rested against his chest and she smiled, running one hand up his chest to his face. She pulled herself up a bit and kissed him softly.  
  
"Good morning." She grinned and kissed him again.  
  
Robert smiled. No words. She was so beautiful, radiant even. She lay back down beside him and wrapped one arm around his chest, pulling herself closer. Robert kissed her hair and breathed in the pleasant scent of her conditioner. "I love you."  
  
She squeezed him closer, content to be beside him, not needing to say or do anything.  
  
Several hours later Elizabeth stood over scrambled eggs in a bath robe, while Robert, beside her, waited for the toast to pop up.  
  
"You do realise that I'm never going to let you leave here ever again." He looked into the toaster absentmindedly impatient.  
  
"You just try and explain to Kerry…" Elizabeth took the eggs off the element.  
  
"Weaver can cope without you, I have for years. It's her turn." He said like a spoilt child.  
  
"Oh, poor baby." Elizabeth cupped his cheek with one hand and kissed him tentatively.  
  
Robert laughed and put the toast on two plates. Elizabeth spooned the eggs on top.  
  
"I'm serious." He said, no longer jesting.  
  
"I know." She smiled at him. "And I'm glad. Cause I have no intention of leaving. Except I have a shift in three hours."  
  
"Phone in sick, tell them you're in bed and not leaving it until tomorrow, at least."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't have to lie." She hoisted herself onto the bench top and picked up her plate, taking a hungry mouthful. Robert leaned against the opposite bench and ate his.  
  
"Nice eggs." He said innocently, finishing his plateful.  
  
Elizabeth laughed, "Your motives are above board as usual." She teased, lifting her feet so her toes rested on Robert's hips. Her robe slipped, leaving one leg invitingly bare. Robert took the invitation and moved closer letting her wrap her legs around him.  
  
"Will you stay?"  
  
"Today? No, I have to go."  
  
"But will you stay?" he ignored his disappointment.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"For good?"  
  
She nodded again. "Forever, if you'll let me."  
  
"Do you mean you'd move in?" he asked nervously.  
  
She nodded, smiling slightly.  
  
Robert took a deep breath, "Do you mean you'd marry me?"  
  
Elizabeth looked into his eyes, searching. At first he steeled over fearfully, but her look pleaded him to let her see the depths of him. And when she did she nodded. "I will."  
  
He looked at her, his shock evident. "Yeah?"  
  
"Yes." She kissed him hard on the mouth. He took a moment to respond but when he did they didn't step away, there was no good bye. In fact the only words were an hour later when Elizabeth called in sick. She then called Chris to make sure she could take Ella for the rest of the day. She then returned to bed.  
  
End theme: Dream a little dream of me:  
  
Stars shinin' bright above you  
  
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"  
  
Bird singin' in the sycamore tree  
  
Dream a little dream of me  
  
Say "nightie night" and kiss me  
  
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me  
  
While I'm alone and blue as can be  
  
Dream a little dream of me  
  
Stars fading but I linger on, dear  
  
Still craving your kiss  
  
I'm longin' to linger 'til dawn, dear   
  
Just sayin' this...  
  
Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you  
  
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you  
  
But in your dreams whatever they be   
  
Dream a little dream of me  
  
Ta da! All done. All over. Aw… que the violins…  
  
Hope you all liked it. Hope it left you wanting more. That doesn't mean you'll get more but it does mean I get lots of reviews… please…  
  
Anyway, I'll go through the lot and fix all the errors and titles and all that jazz at some stage… maybe I'll do a proper epilogue then. If I get enough demands for it. Yup, there's the ultimatum. 


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue part 1… As ordered. A sequel. Sort of. But there won't be much more cause I'm working all summer away from home (NZ summer starts soon and ends in February). Hope you like.  
  
"Yah, see you tonight." Elizabeth hung up the phone.  
  
"How things going?" Susan asked familiarly.  
  
"Ah, good. I just hope I don't get pulled into surgery 20 minutes before my shift ends."  
  
"You got it bad huh?" Susan grinned, picking up a pile of files from admitting.  
  
"What?" Elizabeth was reading a case and was a bit distracted.  
  
"You're that keen to leave - must be something good waiting at home."  
  
"He's not as bad as he seems." Elizabeth smiled. "I better get on to this." She held up the file and walked away. I guess its official, she thought to herself. Not that she wanted to deny anything - in fact she was suppressing a desire to shout things from the rooftop. Everyone at County knew. Some of it anyway. But they all had slant -most of them cynical and dirty - things their relationship definitely was not. But who cares what they think. It's about as good as it gets - he's looking after Ella instead of full-time work, though it is full time work really. He's there when I get home, meals prepared, bed made. And I'm not alone. Ella's not neglected. Neither am I. Neither is he. I should get him something, a gift.  
  
"Elizabeth?" Chen had obviously said her name several times.  
  
"Yah?"  
  
"I need your signature."  
  
"Oh, right." Elizabeth signed absentmindedly.  
  
"What's on your mind?"  
  
"Just looking forward to the end of my shift." Elizabeth smiled. "I'll take her up." She nodded at the patient and wheeled the bed to the elevator.  
  
Robert lifted Ella from her high chair and carried her through to the lounge. 15 more minutes of the Simpsons then Ella would go to bed and he'd have 4 hours to kill before Elizabeth got home.  
  
Elizabeth let herself in to Robert's house quietly. When the door was closed behind her she peaked in the lounge and kitchen then made her way upstairs. But he wasn't in his room either. She went to check on Ella and found her sleeping on Robert's chest. He was lying on the guest-room bed by Ella's cot. Elizabeth lifted Ella, lightly waking Robert. She put Ella down in the cot then sat beside Robert on the bed.  
  
"Hi." She smiled.  
  
"Hey." He rubbed his face, trying to wake up.  
  
She took his hand. "Come on, you obviously need your sleep." She lead him to their room. She kicked her shoes under a chair.  
  
"Na-ah." Robert shook his head. "I haven't seen you all day, and I don't need sleep that much. I missed you tonight." He pulled her closer to face him.  
  
"I missed you too."  
  
"You can't have been that busy." He brushed the hair back off her face.  
  
"It was a bit slow but I kept getting distracted - if you'd been there you would have given me a yelling-at."  
  
"I can if you like."  
  
"Na, Kerry almost did, that'll do me."  
  
"Doesn't really count, irritating her is a royal honour."  
  
"And irritating you isn't?" she jumped out of his grasp giggling. He shook his head in mock-disapproval then chased after. He cornered her against the bed, though she wasn't putting up much of a fight. He gave her a look as if to say, you give up? She shrugged, smiling cheekily. He stepped forward so his body was touching hers when they breathed in, and pushed her shoulder once. She fell back onto the bed and put her hands above her head, "I surrender," she whispered. He straddled her legs and held her hands above her head.  
  
"Good, cause I'm all out of fight." He kissed her once then just hugged her.  
  
"Robert," she whispered, holding him tightly, "I think I should take some time off."  
  
He lifted his head to look at her, "Why?"  
  
"Cause of us - this is all new and I want it to work and that takes time. I miss you and I worry about you."  
  
"I'm fine." he insisted, sitting up beside her on the bed.  
  
She sat up. "I know. But, I mean…" she took his hand. "Are you?" she searched his face."  
  
"Yup." He met her eyes but that gave him away, "Okay, I miss work. I miss the challenge, the competition, the conflict. Heaven forbid, a bit of snark with Kerry in the elevator might keep my brain from turning to mush. A bit of abuse in the ER might keep the rest of me from turning into mush."  
  
"So why don't you go back - there's a job waiting for you."  
  
"Gee Lizzie, I dunno - oh, that's right, I'm missing a limb." He rolled his eyes.  
  
"And you're getting a prosthetic in a matter of days. Knowing you you'll be using it like an old pro within a week or two. Meantime, you managed to work without sensory function in your arm for almost a year. Your centre of gravity is slightly different but it won't affect your work. You can still abuse nurses, doctors and students alike."  
  
He didn't reply, which surprised Elizabeth. He just sat their thoughtfully, "Maybe you're right." He swallowed and met her eyes. "The return of the one-armed-freak."  
  
"Hallelujah." She half-smiled. Which made him smile.  
  
"I'll wait till I've got the prosthetic down though. I've lost enough dignity in past months. Can't give them all too much pleasure but making a mockery of the heartless tin-man."  
  
"Who turns out to have a heart after all."  
  
"No it's all yours."  
  
"I meant in the story - it's one of Ella's favourites." Elizabeth smiled.  
  
"Oh. Well," he sighed, "I'll talk to Kerry when I go in to get my prosthetic fitted - can't wait." He rolled his eyes.  
  
"Surely this is a good thing." Elizabeth looked at him quizzically.  
  
"I meant the meeting with Kerry."  
  
"Oh, fair enough then." She reached up to touch his face. "You're very brave."  
  
He raised his eyebrows in agreement.  
  
"I don't mean because you're meeting with Kerry - I mean because you're going back at all."  
  
"I couldn't live with myself if I gave them the pleasure of getting rid of me for good. I always had my suspicions that one of the innumerable curses aimed my way, from doctors and patients alike, might have taken effect in that helicopter - ha! Didn't stop me yet."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Yah, I noticed. Why?"  
  
Lizzie shrugged playfully then lifted her hand to his face again and kissed him.  
  
"Thank you." He opened his eyes and looked at her earnestly.  
  
"But I'm still going to take a week off."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To have a holiday - before you go back… we might as well take advantage of this." She grinned mischievously. "What do you say?"  
  
"I'd say that the south of France sounds great."  
  
"For one week?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Robert, we're talking about a holiday that starts in ten days. We won't find a hotel."  
  
"Who says we need a hotel? Trust me. Hell, let me organise the whole thing - you can wrestle with Kerry for the time off. I wouldn't trade you for the world."  
  
She looked at him suspiciously - he was hiding something. But not one to kill a surprise she let it drop, "Ok."  
  
"I just have one question."  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Is this a holiday or a honeymoon?" He asked confidently but his vulnerability was evident in his eyes.  
  
Elizabeth smiled, biting her lip, playing with the idea in her mind. She swayed from side to side on the bed. "You want a honeymoon?"  
  
"Do you need to ask?"  
  
"Okay." She was still smiling and biting her lip. He lifted his hand to her face and stroked his thumb over her lips, freeing the bottom lip from her teeth.  
  
"You sure. It's not too soon."  
  
"I'm sure. I want to be with you forever - that's not going to be any different in 6 months - who cares if people think it's too soon. I don't."  
  
Robert grinned like a child. "I guess we have a wedding to plan as well."  
  
"Anything's possible. You've got to love a challenge if you're going to plan a wedding in a week."  
  
"Good thing Ella likes shopping."  
  
"I'll get Chris to look after her while we're away."  
  
"What are your hours like this week?"  
  
"So-so."  
  
"Is it possible?"  
  
"Robert - we've done surgery to save people who might have well been dead - we can do this."  
  
"Okay. We're getting married." He grinned like a child. "You must understand, I never thought I'd say those words."  
  
"I never thought I'd be so happy to hear them - I don't mean from you - I mean from anyone - I mean…" she sighed awkwardly.  
  
"It's okay." Robert touched her face lightly.  
  
She smiled, "I know. It's crazy but it's okay. We don't need to invite many people anyway - no one at work will understand, my parents will flip - excellent. What about your family?"  
  
He looked unsure.  
  
"They should be there."  
  
"It's just Jo. And her husband and daughter. Dorothy, my housekeeper. Gretel can be my best man - except she's neither male nor human and it would be a waste of a good suit."  
  
Elizabeth laughed. "Small is good. It's not about anyone else anyway. In fact the fewer the better."  
  
"Yah, less to feed at the reception."  
  
"How are we going to find a place in a week."  
  
"I have my ways." He tapped his nose.  
  
"This will be a first - a wedding where the bride is surprised by something other than the best man's speech."  
  
"And since the current best man is a canine that will be one fascinating speech." Robert laughed. Elizabeth watched him silently, adoring him completely. He stopped laughing and met her stare. "I don't deserve that look."  
  
"Yes you do." She replied earnestly. "I love you." She cupped his cheek with one hand, "Bedtime. We have a busy week." She lay back on the bed. He stood up and looked at her while he removed his outer layers of clothing.  
  
"I can't even be bothered getting changed." She yawned.  
  
"I can help you there." He rolled her over on the bed and unzipped her skirt then rolled her over again and kneeling beside her unbuttoned her blouse. She was blissfully floppy and sleepy, aware of Robert's hands undoing her clothing and tentatively undressing her and nothing else. He cupped her cheeks, kissed her softly on the lips, leaned over her and switched off the bedside lamp and returned to her lips. She opened her eyes,  
  
"This is why I was distracted all day at work." She smiled cheekily and wrapped her arms around his body, pulling him closer with her eyes as well.  
  
I know, I'm mean. I leave it all up to your imaginations. But at least bad writing can't ruin it for you. But you know what's meaner - you thought this was more of the story but it's better - it's the promise of more. The wedding. Epilogue part 2. And maybe the honeymoon too. We'll see… maybe we need an Epilogue 3. But I have a bad feeling NBC are letting us down now that I've seen the trailer for the next season. I keep watching it again looking for Elizabeth and Robert but it doesn't help much. "How's your arm?" "Gone" - Robert has one word. Lizzie's in the background - I'm not even sure it's her. And it's a different scene. Well, I suppose they might be stretching it out for dramatic reasons but I'm NOT IMPRESSED.  
  
I'll write a completely new fan fiction once I've seen the first few episodes. Unfortunately that won't be for ages cause NZ is so far away we won't get ER till next year. Unless someone writes a meticulously detailed summary - then I'll try. No promises. Maybe I could just move to the US to see the next season… I'll see what I can do… 


	15. Epilogue part two: happy ever after? goo...

Okay, warning: mostly cheesy mushy stuff. ur gonna love it.  
  
Disclaimer: MEAN NBC own this. Not me. I'm not that mean.  
  
"Don't you think mum would look great in that?" Robert pointed a dress out to Ella who shook her head ferociously.  
  
"What? She'd look stunning." Robert demanded.  
  
Ella nodded.  
  
"What? I don't get it."  
  
"Mama's dress is pretty."  
  
"What dress?" he began lightly, "Oh." It dawned on him that Elizabeth already had a wedding dress – she'd been married before. But surely she'd get a new one. Might as well ask Ella, "Is it a new dress?"  
  
Ella nodded as though she were telling a secret.  
  
Whew.  
  
"What cake does she like?" Robert figured he might as well use Ella's privileged information to help with the wedding plans.  
  
"Chocolate." Ella replied excitedly.  
  
"Is that her or you."  
  
"Me!" she said, then thought "and Mama too."  
  
"Okay." He laughed, carrying the toddler into a cake shop. Ella looked around and put her nose up at all of them. Robert liked one of them but it was ridiculously expensive. And not perfect. It needed to be perfect.  
  
Elizabeth poured herself a cup of coffee as Susan entered the surgeon's lounge.  
  
"Hey." Susan said, collapsing onto a seat.  
  
"Long shift?" Elizabeth asked, her mind wirring, trying to think of a way to ask Susan to the wedding.  
  
"Not so bad but sometimes they just drag."  
  
"Coffee?"  
  
"No, I'll go home and sleep in an hour."  
  
"Fair enough. So, um, are you busy this weekend."  
  
"Why, need a double date?"  
  
"No." Elizabeth laughed. "Um," just say it… "um," say it! "I'm getting married. You want to come?"  
  
"What?" Susan sat up in disbelief. "To who? Romano?"  
  
"No, Santa Claus."  
  
"No, I mean. Already?"  
  
"Well… um," Elizabeth wasn't quite sure what to say.  
  
"Sorry. None of my business. I'd love to come."  
  
"It's okay. It is very fast. But I guess it's not entirely normal circumstances."  
  
"You don't have to explain to me." Susan stood up to pour herself a coffee.  
  
"There's been a lot beneath the surface for a long time and we've known each other for years. But I must admit I wouldn't have believed I'd ever marry him a year ago. I wouldn't have even thought – even before Mark."  
  
Susan nodded. "I'm happy for you – I mean, I'm sure you could do better but I don't really know Romano."  
  
"He wouldn't let you."  
  
"What's your secret?"  
  
"He let me."  
  
Ella pretended to bake a ridiculously large cake with Robert's pots and pans spread all over his kitchen floor. Robert sat on the floor, leaning against a cupboard, flicking through a cookbook with a pile more on the floor beside him. He sighed dropping the current one back on the pile. The book under it caught his eye and he picked it up.  
  
"That's what I make." Ella pointed to the picture on the cover – a cream coloured cake that was DARK inside. The book was the one Elizabeth had bought him when he was still in recovery. And the cake was Dark Chocolate with White Chocolate icing [yah some foods deserve uppercase letters]. He had a good feeling about this one. He flicked through until he found another picture of it and skimmed his eyes over the recipe.  
  
"You finished?" he asked Ella.  
  
"Yup, we gotta eat it now."  
  
"What if we go out and make a REAL one when we get back?" Robert suggested. That sounded good to Ella.  
  
I am not going through that again. Elizabeth told herself. Susan got her invite – the little card with handwritten purple metallic writing. Elizabeth posted the rest on bulletin boards around the hospital just before she left – the less questions the better.  
  
Ella took a mouthful of the mini-version of the wedding cake. The combination of dark and white chocolate around her mouth was quite the work of art. Robert waited for her eyes to widen in delight before he took a bite from the same slice.  
  
"Yup. That's it. No question. I hope your mum likes chocolate."   
  
Ella giggled revealing the much-appreciated contents of her mouth. Which made Robert laugh too.  
  
Elizabeth unlocked the door with a tired sigh. The sound that hit her ears immediately made her smile. The combined laugh of her daughter and Robert was musical. She dropped her bag at the foot of the stairway and followed the sound the kitchen. The usual suspects were sitting on the floor surrounded by pots and pans and between them was a LARGE slice of cake, in each of their hands was a dirty fork and each of their mouths was open and covered in chocolate.  
  
"Looks like I'm missing out." She said, leaning against the doorway.  
  
"Oh, you're home." Robert spun around, trying to hide the cake and wipe his mouth at the same time. Ella hiked her rear end off the floor and, cake covered and all, ran to her mother. "Ella." He gave her a you're-ruining-our-plan look that made Elizabeth laugh. Robert stood up and Elizabeth stepped forward, kissing him.  
  
"You taste different too." Elizabeth teased him and wiped the white chocolate from above his lip, bringing it to her own with an approving 'mmm'.  
  
"At least pretend there's some kinda surprise here." He said, ruffling Ella's hair.  
  
"Okay. I'll clean up Ella and you can turn this evil-scientist-lab into your kitchen again." Elizabeth walked out of the kitchen laughing.  
  
"So, how'd it go?" Robert asked as Elizabeth  
  
"What?" She lifted herself so she was sitting on the bench.  
  
"The invites." He pressed 'start' on the microwave and turned to her.  
  
"Oh. Well I told Susan and then chickened out and posted the rest on noticeboards. I figure people will come if they want to. The gossip was inevitable, hell, it started a while ago."  
  
"Fair enough. Do you think people will come?"  
  
"In curiosity, yes. But who cares – it's our day, not theirs." She swung her legs and held out her hand to him. He stepped between her knees and she rested her hands on his shoulders.  
  
"Then why are we inviting them?"  
  
"Cause coming back from our honeymoon to let them all know we're already married would be so much fun it'd kill us. And you've had enough close calls this year."  
  
He smiled, thinking how beautiful she looked, tired and comfortable and happy. She hadn't looked this happy for a long time. He made her happy. This realization shocked him. "You are so beautiful." He lifted his hand to her face and was about to kiss her when the microwave beeped, announcing their dinner was now reheated. Robert didn't miss the look of disappointment on Elizabeth's face as their almost-kiss was broken. He hadn't felt this good in a long time either. He hadn't felt this good in his memory. Maybe never?  
  
"What are we having?" she jumped off the bench and got two wine glasses out of the cupboard.  
  
"Soup and toast. I was busy today, so my apologies for the simplicity."  
  
"Robert, you're basically a gourmet cook. A simple meal is nice for a change." She poured two glasses of red wine and put the glasses and the bottle on the table.  
  
"So, what were you busy doing?"  
  
"Stuff," he tasted the soup before grabbing the salt and pepper shakers from on top of the fridge.   
  
Elizabeth got up and got the Parmesan, grating some into her soup. "So you're not going to tell me anything?"  
  
"Nup." He dipped some toast into his soup.  
  
She laughed and shook her head.  
  
"Did Ella go down alright?" he changed the subject.  
  
"Yeah, she said she had fun today. You know you're amazing with her?"  
  
"Did she tell you what we did?" he panicked  
  
"No, your secret is safe."  
  
"I have a loyal accomplice, excellent." He lifted his eyebrows with an evil grin.  
  
Elizabeth smiled at him. It never ceased to amaze her that she'd known this man for so long and had never seen this side of him till recently. This amazing side – so lovable, compassionate and funny. Something told her the transformation had something to do with her.  
  
"I can't sleep." Ella padded into the kitchen barefoot, in a singlet and nappies.  
  
"My turn." Robert jumped up and swooped Ella off the floor. She squealed with laughter that faded slightly as her took her upstairs.   
  
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Elizabeth looked herself up and down, unable to repress her laugh.  
  
"You okay honey?" Her mother poked her head in the door [now I'm laughing, mental image of Lady Corday with her head stuck THROUGH a door… lol, that's not what I meant though…]  
  
"Yah, I'm fine. What do you think?" She turned, her wedding dress swishing around her ankles, nothing could squash her mood, not even her mother.  
  
"You look lovely." She said simply. "Ella is all clean and dry, where's her dress?"  
  
"Oh, I'll dress her – if I don't keep busy I'll get nervous." She laughed again, more like a nervous giggle.  
  
"It's perfectly normal to be nervous."  
  
"I know mum, I've done this before."  
  
"Oh, right sorry. So how did you keep this a secret for so long?" she followed her daughter towards her granddaughter's room.  
  
"How'd I keep what a secret?"  
  
"You and Robert?"  
  
"Oh, I didn't. I mean, not intentionally."  
  
"It's not that long since I talked to you, and it might not have come up but 'I've fallen in love' is a great conversation starter."  
  
"Well, to be honest, I don't know if I was 'in love' when I last talked to you. It all happened so fast – cliché, I know, but in truth this relationship is far from cliché."  
  
"They all are." She said cynically, then quickly apologised.  
  
"What I mean is that we have only been seeing each other for a few weeks but it's been in the air for a lot longer." She pulled Ella's dress out of a closet and lay it on her bed. "Where did she go?"  
  
Her mother shrugged.  
  
Elizabeth stepped out into the hallway, "Ella!"  
  
There was the distinct click of a phone being hung up then Ella's voice, "Yeah?" she appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking guilty as a thief.  
  
"Who were you talking to?" Elizabeth asked as her daughter toddled up the stairs.  
  
"Robert."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"Nothing." Ella walked determinedly into her room.  
  
Elizabeth sighed. "Let's get you dressed." She knelt in front of her daughter, pulling off her t-shirt.  
  
"This really is a lovely house." Her mother filled the silence.  
  
"Yah," Elizabeth agreed and slipped the dress over her daughters out-stretched arms, covering her face. Ella giggled as Elizabeth pulled it over her face. "What are we going to do with your hair?"  
  
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Robert held his hands to his stomach as he nervously looked in the mirror.  
  
"You look fine." Jo insisted and pulled him to face her. He didn't look so sure. "Trust me." She pushed a white rose into the buttonhole of his dark blue pinstripe suit.  
  
He smiled and took her hand. "I'm crazy aren't I?"  
  
Jo took a moment then nodded. "Probably, but I've only met Elizabeth once and I don't really know her. If she can put up with you, if she's seen you after three shifts in a row and she still wants to marry you, I think you're safe."  
  
"I didn't think I'd ever get married."  
  
"Yes, but that's because you've compared every thing in a skirt to her and you never met her clone."  
  
"I hope she likes the wedding."  
  
"Are you kidding?"  
  
"Well, I'm no wedding planner. I don't know what she's expecting."  
  
"Did you go to her other wedding?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So is this better."  
  
"For me, sure, I'm the groom."  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"I know. I have nothing to worry about but tell that the my stomach."  
  
"You can light those candles if you need something to take your mind off it."  
  
"I'm a surgeon, multi-tasking is a given, it'll take more than candles."  
  
"Where's open-heart surgery when you need it?" she pushed him aside to check herself in the mirror.  
  
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"I think its time honey." Mrs Corday turned to her daughter. Elizabeth took a deep breath.  
  
"Okay, Ella. You ready?" she knelt down to her daughter who nodded and giggled nervously. Elizabeth spun her around and nudged her toward the doors. A few seconds later Elizabeth followed on her father's arm. Robert had been watching Ella and blatantly grinning at her. He lifted his eyes to Elizabeth and the grin was replaced by stunned amazement. He consciously took several breaths to slow his heartbeat, swallowed nervously and blinked back traitorous tears.  
  
"Is he crying?" Susan whispered to Jing Mei who had no answer.  
  
Robert's sister squeezed his hand quickly before he took Elizabeth's. He was still choking on each breath, her closeness was almost suffocating. The preacher started speaking. He tried to listen but it was all a jumble of words and all he could hear was the unconditional love travelling through her hands into his body, up his arms, making his heart race, his face flush, his eyes water.  
  
Elizabeth tried to calm her breathing – somehow she was puffed from walking up the aisle. This was easier last time. The held his hands dependently, strengthened by his presence, by his delicate touch.  
  
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"Congratulations" came from every direction outside the church – some more genuine than others. Robert grabbed Elizabeth's hand, desperately grinning and bearing the more artificial compliments.  
  
Susan lightly hugged Elizabeth whispering, "you surviving?"  
  
Elizabeth just smiled.  
  
"What?" Robert asked, curious.  
  
"Nothing." Elizabeth laughed.  
  
"Be good." Susan shook Robert's hand. "And who cares what people think – it's your lives so good on ya."  
  
"Thanks." Elizabeth was still smiling.  
  
Robert turned to Ella who'd just run into his leg, leaving Elizabeth to talk to Susan. "You having fun kid?"  
  
Ella nodded.  
  
"You look stunning, did you know that?" he put his hands around her waist and lifted her up.  
  
"Yup." She giggled.  
  
"Your mums' not bad either."  
  
"You're silly." Ella put her arms around his neck. Elizabeth turned to them. They were finally alone, but probably not for long.  
  
"Hey honey." She put one arm on Ella's back and the other around Robert's waist. "You did wonderful – just perfect. Thank you."  
  
Ella nodded then rested her head on Robert's shoulder. 


	16. Epilogue part three: last installment: f...

The FINAL installment. Bon Apetite!  
  
Elizabeth's eyes fluttered open to the air-conditioned interior of an airplane. Her head was resting on Robert's shoulder and his head was resting on hers. But she was suddenly wide-awake and impatient to move. With her hand on Robert's neck she edged away allowing his head to fall onto her shoulder. He moaned in his sleep but didn't wake. Elizabeth giggled silently and kissed his forehead.  
  
  
  
  
  
"It doesn't get much better than this." He kissed her neck and trailed a line of kisses until he found her mouth.  
  
"Oh, good, you're awake. I was getting bored." She whispered when he stopped for a breath.   
  
He grinned at her. "I still can't believe I'm here."  
  
"Maybe you're still dreaming."  
  
"I have no wish to wake up then." He kissed her cheek chastely.  
  
The cab stopped on the side of the road.  
  
"Thanks." Robert said and paid the driver.  
  
"Where are we?" Elizabeth asked, picking up her bag.  
  
"No, leave that. He'll drop them at the place we're staying. And you might as well leave your shoes behind as well." She just looked at him quizzically. "We're walking along the beach – it's the best angle to come from."  
  
"Okay." She slipped off her sandals and put them in her handbag. "I'm all yours."  
  
"Excellent." He winked at her making her laugh. The cab drove off as he led her down a sandy path to the beach. The smell of salt and the sound of lapping waves met them seconds before the stunning sunset reflected on the ocean grabbed their eyes. Elizabeth stopped awestruck. Robert grinned at the intended affect and slipped his arm around her waist.  
  
"It's silly, I know, but it feels like all this is just for us." Elizabeth said pulling him closer.  
  
"Sounds good to me." He took her hand and pulled her further down the beach. Hand in hand they walked. Talking sometimes but mostly in an awestruck, companionable silence.  
  
"You know, when you said the south of France, I thought you were kidding." She smiled lightly.  
  
"Well, it is a bit of a cliché." He squeezed her hand.  
  
"You always struck me as one to go against the grain."  
  
He laughed, she was right. "The thing is I always wanted to come here – I kind of promised myself I was if I could ever afford it – my measure of success or something. I always wanted to go on holiday when I was a kid but we couldn't afford it, and one year I asked and mom's current boyfriend said, 'yah, sure, I'll get my housekeeper to set up the villa in the south of France.' For a second I thought he was serious. Maybe I just wanted to prove him wrong, but I started saving as soon as I started working and then I visited and I just fell in love with the place. Then I spent the next ten years paying for it." He laughed.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I bought a villa." He stopped on the beach and turned away from the ocean, looking up at a stunning home.  
  
"Are you serious?" she looked at him then followed his line of sight to his house.  
  
"Yup." He took her hand and led her up the beach.   
  
The cold sand gave way beneath her feat with each anticipating step. "This is yours?" she swallowed her disbelief in wonder.  
  
"Ours." He let her go ahead of him up the steps to the patio. At the tops she turned. The sun had just dipped below the horizon but what she could see was about as good as it got – the moonlit beach and Robert's careful steps toward her. "What do you think?" he stopped in front of her, not quite touching her.  
  
"I can't think." She smiled.  
  
"Wait till you see the view from our bedroom at dawn." He grinned back but didn't move.  
  
"Well…" she was impatient to see inside.  
  
"What? Oh, you want to see inside?"  
  
She poked him in the ribs as he stepped away and unlocked the door.  
  
"I'd carry you, but-" he began before she crossed the space between them and put her fingers to his lips with a look that took his breath away.  
  
"Can we take the grand tour tomorrow? It's been a long day."  
  
He nodded and silently took her hand and led her up the stairs. He pushed the bedroom door open with his prosthetic hand – its tap against the wood shocking them both in the silence.  
  
Elizabeth laughed nervously then stopped to face him, "take it off tonight."  
  
He nodded, lifting his hand to her face, "it's just us tonight".  
  
"Good." She bit her lip and just stood there, her hands resting comfortably on his hips, contentedly smiling into his eyes. Then slowly she stepped backwards, pulling him with her, until the backs of her legs were touching the bed. Now he was grinning. She started unbuttoning his shirt.  
  
"I'm completely lost Lizzie." He took her hand.  
  
"That makes two of us."  
  
Ta da! The ACTUAL end. Finito (I'm sure that means the end in some language) Hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Keep writing all of you – you rock! 


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